Soyteen Liker's Blog

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I’ll give some genuine advice rather than haha funny troll advice if it helps

1. STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM THE SHARTY I can tell you use it, that shit is poison for a repper

2. Get as close to “male” as you can without transitioning. Dress masculine, do masculine activities, “talk” masculine. But you’re still a girl.

3. What is your ideal transitioned self? Just… be that. Nothings stopping you from being that as a girl unless your ideal transitioned self is you with an 8 inch cock

4. I’m seeing all this shaman Buddha stuff, have you ever just seen… a therapist?

 

[chudchudchudchud]

1. STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM THE SHARTY I can tell you use it, that shit is poison for a repper

I'm still banned and they didn't touch my appeal but I don't see what the problem with it is.

2. Get as close to “male” as you can without transitioning. Dress masculine, do masculine activities, “talk” masculine. But you’re still a girl.

I can see this working for some people but I think my AAP is ultimately about male sexuality and anatomy which means doing guy stuff doesn't help at all. Not that having male sexuality or anatomy would help long-term either. It's kind of hard to explain. It feels like an addiction that feeds an entity I have.

3. What is your ideal transitioned self? Just… be that. Nothings stopping you from being that as a girl unless your ideal transitioned self is you with an 8 inch cock

My "ideal" "male" self is one who is a deep thinker and feeler and has Aspergers Syndrome. But honestly, the driving force of the AAP is the sexuality aspect and anything else is an extension of that to make it appear more legitimate.

4. I’m seeing all this shaman Buddha stuff, have you ever just seen… a therapist?

Many, none have made a dent in healing. My mom and I found that the one who I felt the most rapport with died January of this year unfortunately.

Thanks for the advice doe, I appreciate it!

 

[Gore San]

Even if a woman wanted a penis there is no way to just remove the entire system to transplant it onto said woman and still be functional. We are talking dick balls and prostate, the full package. Pun intended. The best you could do is just the penis to make it look less like a flesh empanada or Squidward's nose after they remove your arm or leg flesh to make a non functional useless lump. This is also assuming the body doesn't reject it.

 

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Even if a woman wanted a penis there is no way to just remove the entire system to transplant it onto said woman and still be functional. We are talking dick balls and prostate, the full package. Pun intended. The best you could do is just the penis to make it look less like a flesh empanada or Squidward's nose after they remove your arm or leg flesh to make a non functional useless lump. This is also assuming the body doesn't reject it.

Ya I think this is also a good thing to keep in mind, that it’s sorta impossible.

I'm still banned and they didn't touch my appeal but I don't see what the problem with it is.

There is a story by Edgar Allen Poe by the name of “The Telltale Heart”. It’s a story of a man who murders someone, and hides their parts (including their heart) under his floorboards. The police come to investigate his house and make small talk, but as they do the man can hear the still beating heart of his victim under the floorboards. It eventually drives him mad, and he shows the cop the hidden remains. Being a repper on the sharty is similar. They’re transphobic, and I don’t mean the fake definition of it, no they ACTUALLY hate trans people. And you’re, by most definitions, a trans person. To hang around people who actually want you dead will cause a Telltale Heart effect, where the pressure will get too much and you’ll snap.

My "ideal" "male" self is one who is a deep thinker and feeler and has Aspergers Syndrome. But honestly, the driving force of the AAP is the sexuality aspect and anything else is an extension of that to make it appear more legitimate.

Yo, hear me out. Honestly? This may be because of your time on the sharty (or adjacent spaces). “Deep thinker with Aspergers” sounds like what every soyteen aspires to be, philosophical smartass with some quirky trendy disease. May I ask, have your desires gotten better since you left the sharty or worse? Are you still in adjacent spaces? Do you still hold sharty adjacent views?

Many, none have made a dent in healing. My mom and I found that the one who I felt the most rapport with died January of this year unfortunately.

Thanks for the advice doe, I appreciate it!

I’m so sorry about that. And of course, anytime.

 

[chudchudchudchud]

There is a story by Edgar Allen Poe by the name of “The Telltale Heart”. It’s a story of a man who murders someone, and hides their parts (including their heart) under his floorboards. The police come to investigate his house and make small talk, but as they do the man can hear the still beating heart of his victim under the floorboards. It eventually drives him mad, and he shows the cop the hidden remains. Being a repper on the sharty is similar. They’re transphobic, and I don’t mean the fake definition of it, no they ACTUALLY hate trans people. And you’re, by most definitions, a trans person. To hang around people who actually want you dead will cause a Telltale Heart effect, where the pressure will get too much and you’ll snap.

Interesting metaphor. I don't see myself as trans though, I see myself as an AAP searching for a cure. If people can't tell the difference, that's their problem.

Yo, hear me out. Honestly? This may be because of your time on the sharty (or adjacent spaces). “Deep thinker with Aspergers” sounds like what every soyteen aspires to be, philosophical smartass with some quirky trendy disease.

I don't think so. It's moreso a consequence of THESIS being sent "to the back of the bus" so to speak (I talk about what this means in the psychological expeditions document on page 3 of this thread)

May I ask, have your desires gotten better since you left the sharty or worse?

I still lurk on the soysphere at times but being on it has helped a lot, I would say actually. I almost never consider transition in reality anymore unless I have a bad day + a trigger. But all the frens I've made have helped me with direction to reorient myself against gender ideology. Knowing that it's literally just an out of control sexuality helps a lot and it's reinforced when nobody genuinely sees me as a man. It's also reinforced when I see the contrast between myself and masculine thinking. It's also reinforced when I have guys who like me for being a woman; I used to interact a lot with 4cuck types who were rather genuinely misogynistic and bitter. I think the soysphere is rarely *bitter* per se, like yeah, there's a lot of angry people (clittycels is our term) but it feels weaponized against their targets, who aren't just women doing their own thing.

 

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I still lurk on the soysphere at times but being on it has helped a lot, I would say actually. I almost never consider transition in reality anymore unless I have a bad day + a trigger. But all the frens I've made have helped me with direction to reorient myself against gender ideology. Knowing that it's literally just an out of control sexuality helps a lot and it's reinforced when nobody genuinely sees me as a man. It's also reinforced when I see the contrast between myself and masculine thinking. It's also reinforced when I have guys who like me for being a woman; I used to interact a lot with 4cuck types who were rather genuinely misogynistic and bitter. I think the soysphere is rarely *bitter* per se, like yeah, there's a lot of angry people (clittycels is our term) but it feels weaponized against their targets, who aren't just women doing their own thing.

I’m busy rn so I’ll reply in full later but I want to offer a bit of help rn so I’ll just say that honestly to me that sounds like what 4channers call “repping”. Which usually isn’t healthy. There’s a core deep ingrained reason you feel this way that can’t be fixed by people who unironically believe all porn makes you a pedo

 

[Gore San]

people who unironically believe all porn makes you a pedo

I said it once and I'll say it again. People like this are almost always projecting. Unless their dick just doesn't work.

 

[chudchudchudchud]

Last Friday I went to see the endocrinologist who prescribed me 25mg spironolactone (testosterone blocker) because my levels were too high and I thought that might have been contributing to my AAP. He also gave me a karyotype test (chromosome testing) in a few months and I'm not really sure why.

I think some part of this scared "him" and it started attacking me again trying desperately to convince me to break nofap and that the spironolactone (spiro) would supposedly give me a mental breakdown that would force me to have no other choice but to embrace "him" and poon out.

Even though the spiro is still delayed at my pharmacy, I have found determination to kill/banish/destroy "him" once again. It feels a lot like this excerpt from a Rod Fleming article (a researcher into autogynephilia).

In this world... it's KILL or be KILLED!

I joke but there's this character that's my #1 "literally me" that I know of, especially how he is characterized in some fan songs. He's a lot like ANTITHESIS because both feel nothing but pain and some kind of driving force (lust in ANTITHESIS'S case). He misses being soft and sensitive and loving and tries his best to be a good moral person despite not feeling anything for eons, slowly going insane and wanting to fuck everything up because he sees no point to anything if he can't feel

It's kind of funny, he was created by an experiment and sometimes I think transgenderism is a massive deliberate psyop although I don't have enough evidence to show that it is. I remember someone before me saying they made the connection that he was an unintentional metaphor for AGP/AAP reppers but they never delivered unfortunately.