@Chemo You're the forum nigga. From the grapevine I heard you were a software nigga. I'll pay you big dollars if I had those big dollars for an invention to ensure I get discord vagina within the very night. All heil the software bum, this nigga needs a second chance.
 
I keep noticing that this thread sometimes gets a few thousand views per days and I can't help but wonder whose viewing the thread - and why it's such high traffic if the numbers aren't scuffed which I don't believe to be the case. I notice many people do seem to lurk the thread on a daily basis sometimes without posting though I still wonder why considering it's nothing noteworthy.
 

I've been trying to just face life as it is - I don't understand why I always look too far into things and other people but it's always been a bad habit of mine to over think and to calculate and analyze everything seeking patterns. I hate being as aware as I am, something that I believe was built into me by a number of people for better or for worse though I just try to accept that I'm always going to be on alert by everything. I just started listening to Nirvana more recently, Kurt Cobain has become an importance in my life in a way where I feel like I'm looking into a mirror when I read the book Journals. I was out for a walk during a point and I saw that there was an engraving of his name, birth and death date but it was dented in meaning it was there ever since the pavement was first placed - the odds perplex me. This was a pleasant example though with patterns there also comes the bad where I always feel more defensive lately, was this built into me? I want to find the best in other people, I have to believe that our worst moments don't make us monsters, I have to believe that about other people - maybe I miss the naivety of connecting so quickly with others. Though now I notice things that make me feel skittish, something I've been open about - but why?

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I don't know why I've been more of a bitch lately - maybe I subconsciously and momentarily got tired,
if I've seemed off the past few days especially with my spike in activity maybe it stems from how stagnant things have been,
then all of a sudden more ghosts come to frolic into my own garden.

I just want to be able to discuss topics of interest,
why do people always find pleasure in banter or toying with others..

maybe I understand to a degree.
 
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