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[Funny Watermelon]

That’s the thing, there’s a punchline there, so it can actually be funny. Farmers will just post that ugly ass soyjak of the trans guy “ACK”ing herself and expect the crowd to go into hysterics

That's just sharty nigger faggots being sharty nigger faggots. From what I've seen other farmers fucking hate that stupid shit too, they're just an extremely loud minority.

Is it just me or are farmers so unfunny

Not just you I'm afraid. Because honestly forum culture is dead, it's all about the twitter/le soyjak humor now. So when you do very long posts that are clearly a shitpost like people used to do in say, SomethingAwful back in the day, you get negrated to hell while people quote your post with a 900000000000x9000000000000 image of an unfunny soyjak going MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG or just tell you to kill yourself/call you a pedophile

It's just how things have grown, and how comedy has been dying over time.

 

[mananeko]

I tell this story about being in Iraq and what it felt like, and I can liken it to an experience that almost everyone has had in their life. Have you ever been in a situation where somebody wanted to fight you and you didn't want to fight them? Like you were actually scared? And what happens is when you go to throw the punch it them, your arms turn into linguine and you throw the weakest punch of all time into their shoulder even though you were aiming for their face.

That's what combat feels like. Your stomach drops, you feel like you're going to shit yourself, your gun weighs a thousand pounds, your gear weighs even more than that and you are convinced that you were about to die. And the only thing that your brain can do because you are frozen still is scream OH MY GOD I DON'T WANT TO DIE I DON'T WANT TO DIE GOD PLEASE HELP ME DON'T LET ME DIE I DON'T WANT TO DIE.

The reason that they do basic training in the army is so that when you have that moment (and I don't know about other people but I did two tours and that feeling never went away) is when your body shuts down and can't move and goes into the I don't want to die mode, all that basic training that was drilled into your brain over and over again takes over for your brain. You are sitting there wishing to God that you saw your wife and your mother and your baby one more time and out of nowhere you just lift that M16 up and start fucking chattering it.

I digress about that the point I'm trying to make is fights are like that too. I was fairly confident this dude was going to kick my ass. Problem was when I hit him with three really clean shots to the jaw, right left right... He lurched forward and I thought I knocked him out. The mistake I made was not readily apparent to me until I realized he was on top of me. The fucker shot at me and double legged me. He was sitting on my stomach and the only thing I could do was put my hands up and block while this guy pounded on my face.

Hahahaha, I got my ass handed to me that night. I'm just lucky I didn't get my nose broke or anything serious like that. The dude was cool about it, when I yelled "all right I'm done" he stuck his hand out and pick me up and asked if we were cool and I said yeah and we hugged each other.

What started the whole thing is that was back when I was a smoker and I had a cig in my mouth and his girlfriend walk by me and I accidentally caught the cigarette in her hair. And of course egos and tempers flared, and it turned into something bigger than it needed to be.

God damn I haven't thought about that in years. Good times.

Damn I'm glad my family actually loved me and set aside a college fund unlike your worthless white trash hog parents that let you do this to yourself.



Did you know around 20 veterans commit suicide a day? They're throwing a big party in Hell and want you to join nigga! One more panic attack! Let's hear it for panic attacks! Panic attacks are God telling you he hates you! One more panic attack!

 

[The CleanerThe Cleaner is verified member.]

That's just sharty nigger faggots being sharty nigger faggots. From what I've seen other farmers fucking hate that stupid shit too, they're just an extremely loud minority.


Not just you I'm afraid. Because honestly forum culture is dead, it's all about the twitter/le soyjak humor now. So when you do very long posts that are clearly a shitpost like people used to do in say, SomethingAwful back in the day, you get negrated to hell while people quote your post with a 900000000000x9000000000000 image of an unfunny soyjak going MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG or just tell you to kill yourself/call you a pedophile

It's just how things have grown, and how comedy has been dying over time.

I'm going to say this in the nicest way possible because I don't want to start shit with these teenagers: that soyjack "humor" it's not my cup of tea.

And I'm sure that things I say are not their cup of tea either. I respect the fact that they can make each other laugh but I'm just saying I don't get it.

 

[The CleanerThe Cleaner is verified member.]

Damn I'm glad my family actually loved me and set aside a college fund unlike your worthless white trash hog parents that let you do this to yourself.

Your parents left you on a doorstep because they didn't want you. That's why you project their awful parenting on to me. You were a child that was unloved. Dumpster baby bastard in a basket.

Did you know around 20 veterans commit suicide a day? They're throwing a big party in Hell and want you to join nigga! One more panic attack! Let's hear it for panic attacks! Panic attacks are God telling you he hates you! One more panic attack!

@Home FIVE alt accounts in 24 hours and you wonder why she still gets bullied.

Also, making fun of veterans committing suicide? Stay classy Ashley.

The difference between me and the dozens of Muslims that I interacted with is that I GOT TO GO HOME. THEY DIDN'T.

 

[Home]

I tell this story about being in Iraq and what it felt like, and I can liken it to an experience that almost everyone has had in their life. Have you ever been in a situation where somebody wanted to fight you and you didn't want to fight them? Like you were actually scared? And what happens is when you go to throw the punch it them, your arms turn into linguine and you throw the weakest punch of all time into their shoulder even though you were aiming for their face.

That's what combat feels like. Your stomach drops, you feel like you're going to shit yourself, your gun weighs a thousand pounds, your gear weighs even more than that and you are convinced that you were about to die. And the only thing that your brain can do because you are frozen still is scream OH MY GOD I DON'T WANT TO DIE I DON'T WANT TO DIE GOD PLEASE HELP ME DON'T LET ME DIE I DON'T WANT TO DIE.

The reason that they do basic training in the army is so that when you have that moment (and I don't know about other people but I did two tours and that feeling never went away) is when your body shuts down and can't move and goes into the I don't want to die mode, all that basic training that was drilled into your brain over and over again takes over for your brain. You are sitting there wishing to God that you saw your wife and your mother and your baby one more time and out of nowhere you just lift that M16 up and start fucking chattering it.

I digress about that the point I'm trying to make is fights are like that too. I was fairly confident this dude was going to kick my ass. Problem was when I hit him with three really clean shots to the jaw, right left right... He lurched forward and I thought I knocked him out. The mistake I made was not readily apparent to me until I realized he was on top of me. The fucker shot at me and double legged me. He was sitting on my stomach and the only thing I could do was put my hands up and block while this guy pounded on my face.

Hahahaha, I got my ass handed to me that night. I'm just lucky I didn't get my nose broke or anything serious like that. The dude was cool about it, when I yelled "all right I'm done" he stuck his hand out and pick me up and asked if we were cool and I said yeah and we hugged each other.

What started the whole thing is that was back when I was a smoker and I had a cig in my mouth and his girlfriend walk by me and I accidentally caught the cigarette in her hair. And of course egos and tempers flared, and it turned into something bigger than it needed to be.

God damn I haven't thought about that in years. Good times.

Why’d you get me so invested in a story about a concert fight over lighting some chick’s hair on fire

 

[gibsguy]

The difference between me and the dozens of Muslims that I interacted with is that I GOT TO GO HOME. THEY DIDN'T.

The ignorant autistic retards here won't question you because they're desperate and like your chatGPT-like generic simulation of human interaction but it's been known for years that most of the "insurgents" were actually innocent people. If you knew anything about combat in Iraq you'd be bragging about planting shitty guns on people you shot after the fact to cover your ass because that was insanely commonplace, so common I've seen vets on twitter bragging about it. Also you are lying about muslims strapping explosives to their kids and sending them at you, that's been debunked for decades lmao

 

[gibsguy]

Also Jack, its your old friend kiwifails! I still have all those hours of audio you gave me! Remember all the hot girls we used to trade on discord?

 

[The CleanerThe Cleaner is verified member.]

Why’d you get me so invested in a story about a concert fight over lighting some chick’s hair on fire

I'm sorry when I tell a story I try as hard as I can to keep my listener invested. But I also want it to be relatable. Everyone can relate to that oh my God I'm so scared I don't know how I'm going to do this, or that moment where you're frozen with fear. People don't realize that that's exactly what it was like in Iraq for me.

You're 20 right? When I was your age I was deployed to em city (the green zone in Baghdad) and within the months we were mobbing around the desert in Humvees waiting to get ambushed or hit by IEDs. I was 20. I was a baby. (No offense I'm not calling you a baby, I'm just saying for the job I was tasked to do I was very young and naive)

I always try to put things into the best context I can, so now you know what it feels like to be a soldier. You are frozen, you are scared, and no amount of training makes it any better it just takes over.

The scary part is some people... They still froze. They started screaming for their mom and shit while we were being shot at. You know who usually came through? The girls in our unit. Hell hath no fury like a woman under fire. I would call every woman who served in combat a guardian angel but they are better than that.

They were living breathing Valkyries.

 

[The CleanerThe Cleaner is verified member.]

The ignorant autistic retards here won't question you because they're desperate and like your chatGPT-like generic simulation of human interaction but it's been known for years that most of the "insurgents" were actually innocent people. If you knew anything about combat in Iraq you'd be bragging about planting shitty guns on people you shot after the fact to cover your ass because that was insanely commonplace, so common I've seen vets on twitter bragging about it. Also you are lying about muslims strapping explosives to their kids and sending them at you, that's been debunked for decades lmao

You weren't there because you were too chickenshit to join. Either that or you were too fat to pass the physical. The Army went to hell in a handbasket ever since they 86ed the physical requirements.

Sixth alt account in 24 hours by the way.

Also Jack, its your old friend kiwifails! I still have all those hours of audio you gave me! Remember all the hot girls we used to trade on discord?

All you have to do is show one screenshot. All you have to do is prove it. You talk and you talk and you talk and you talk. All you have to do is prove it.

I will give you 10 uninterrupted minutes to prove it before I ban your sixth alt account of the night.

Take another hit, JUNKIE!

 

[The CleanerThe Cleaner is verified member.]

Ashley you talk and you talk and you talk and you talk and all you ever do is play a game of show and tell.

You tell everybody everything but you don't want to show your evidence. Show me one screenshot of me doing something illicit and I will walk away forever. I will delete every post I've ever made and I will deactivate my account and you will never hear from me again.

Come on chicken shit. You talk a good one, put your money where your fat slob rage pig mouth is.

 

[The CleanerThe Cleaner is verified member.]

See? All talk, fatso.

 

[Home]

Damn I'm glad my family actually loved me and set aside a college fund unlike your worthless white trash hog parents that let you do this to yourself.



Did you know around 20 veterans commit suicide a day? They're throwing a big party in Hell and want you to join nigga! One more panic attack! Let's hear it for panic attacks! Panic attacks are God telling you he hates you! One more panic attack!

NOT AGAIN

@Home FIVE alt accounts in 24 hours and you wonder why she still gets bullied.

Honestly no I totally get the hate now, this is kinda just harassment at this point, Crashley

 

[The CleanerThe Cleaner is verified member.]

NOT AGAIN


Honestly no I totally get the hate now, this is kinda just harassment at this point, Crashley

She will do it all day everyday 7 days a week.

She brings it on herself. She has been doing this for the better part of two decades.

And I will accommodate her. There's nothing better than cutting through all that blubber and hitting that bitch right in the feels. I can always tell when I hurt her feelings because she'll make more than five alternate accounts in a day or she'll call Ken a bunch of times and leave nasty messages

 

[Bekah]

She will do it all day everyday 7 days a week.

She brings it on herself. She has been doing this for the better part of two decades.

And I will accommodate her. There's nothing better than cutting through all that blubber and hitting that bitch right in the feels. I can always tell when I hurt her feelings because she'll make more than five alternate accounts in a day or she'll call Ken a bunch of times and leave nasty messages

View attachment 99080

Is your little fan club at it again?

 

[Home]

I'm sorry when I tell a story I try as hard as I can to keep my listener invested. But I also want it to be relatable. Everyone can relate to that oh my God I'm so scared I don't know how I'm going to do this, or that moment where you're frozen with fear. People don't realize that that's exactly what it was like in Iraq for me.

I can get that feeling, I only really ever felt it around my parents, maybe not totally “I’m gonna die” but this sort of imminent feeling of danger or whatever I’m not poetic like you

I always try to put things into the best context I can, so now you know what it feels like to be a soldier. You are frozen, you are scared, and no amount of training makes it any better it just takes over.

That’s why I never got doing it, not that I don’t respect veterans of course, I just always stare at them like “You- You wanted to go to war?”. I guess after 9/11 it was a feeling of justice, I hear a lot of veterans immediately went to be deployed after that. Some didn’t even wait for the day to end.

The scary part is some people... They still froze. They started screaming for their mom and shit while we were being shot at. You know who usually came through? The girls in our unit. Hell hath no fury like a woman under fire. I would call every woman who served in combat a guardian angel but they are better than that.

I’m not surprised at all honestly, not to toot my own vaginal horn, but a lot of girls specifically have gone through some sort of traumatic event in their life. Whether it be a rape or abuse or something, which sort of numbs them to other aggressors, sometimes even gunfire. At least for some women it does, sometimes even women it makes them even more fragile, or maybe it even does both. I dunno, trauma is weird.

 

[The CleanerThe Cleaner is verified member.]

Is your little fan club at it again?

BEKAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? QUICK, YOU AND HOME BOTH GIVE ME A SIDE HUG! LETS MAKE AN OREO!!!

 

[The CleanerThe Cleaner is verified member.]

I can get that feeling, I only really ever felt it around my parents, maybe not totally “I’m gonna die” but this sort of imminent feeling of danger or whatever I’m not poetic like you

Thank you for that compliment that was very nice.

That’s why I never got doing it, not that I don’t respect veterans of course, I just always stare at them like “You- You wanted to go to war?”. I guess after 9/11 it was a feeling of justice, I hear a lot of veterans immediately went to be deployed after that. Some didn’t even wait for the day to end.

It was a combination of 9/11 and the feeling of invincibility that comes with being in your early twenties.

I’m not surprised at all honestly, not to toot my own vaginal horn, but a lot of girls specifically have gone through some sort of traumatic event in their life. Whether it be a rape or abuse or something, which sort of numbs them to other aggressors, sometimes even gunfire. At least for some women it does, sometimes even women it makes them even more fragile, or maybe it even does both. I dunno, trauma is weird.

I just remember girls who were out there and the same guys that were making fun of "skirts don't belong in the army" were the guys who are getting slapped by them and literally having their lives saved by a woman.

 

[Bekah]

BEKAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? QUICK, YOU AND HOME BOTH GIVE ME A SIDE HUG! LETS MAKE AN OREO!!!

I think you just like me so much because I'm a coloured girl who grew up in a country where the black population was less than 0.10%

 

[The CleanerThe Cleaner is verified member.]

I think you just like me so much because I'm a coloured girl who grew up in a country where the black population was less than 0.10%

Well, I mean... That doesn't hurt.

Also, super sexy that you referred to yourself as a colored girl.

 

[Home]

BEKAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? QUICK, YOU AND HOME BOTH GIVE ME A SIDE HUG! LETS MAKE AN OREO!!!

I accidentally fucked up the react like twice

I think you just like me so much because I'm a coloured girl who grew up in a country where the black population was less than 0.10%

Rather I think you’re like meth for Jack, the longer you’re gone the more he starts scratching at his neck and hallucinating voices