I have only one thing to say about Google or anyone who has ever worked there:
I had been with Google for almost nine years when I was laid off on January 20. I spent eight of those years at YouTube, primarily working from the world headquarters in San Bruno, California.
Over those years, I worked in operations, partnerships, and marketing and was deeply invested in YouTube's culture. I saw the company grow in size, complexity, and significance.
I could never imagine leaving Google — especially YouTube
Both of my parents are from Mexico, and neither graduated high school. I was the first in my family to go to college, and I attended Cornell University before studying at Columbia Law School.
Although I had a successful career, with stints at Nike and McKinsey & Company, landing a job at Google felt like winning the lottery. The company culture felt special, one of a kind, and truly connected to a mission bigger than ourselves.
The perks were a fun talking point, but the founders' commitment to transparency with employees and making the impossible possible made Google a place to belong rather than simply a workplace. I felt lucky and proud to be a Googler.
I felt appreciated and valued by Google. Everything became tied to the company for me — my friendships, experiences, and values. The boundary between work and life was incredibly blurry, but I welcomed this. I was part of the nerds, the game changers, and the tech elite.
I felt cocooned in a protective shell from the outside world, where I had always felt not good enough. I went all in. I raised my hand for the hard jobs and did it with a smile.
I worked as a chief of staff to YouTube's head of global operations.
I also served as a general manager for YouTube Mexico during the COVID-19 pandemic.
I leaned into being a persistent and positive contributor to our Google community. I was repeatedly identified as "top talent" and given opportunities to grow as a leader.
This made the layoffs all the more devastating and shocking.
When the layoffs happened, I allowed myself a week of grieving time.
I felt rejected, ashamed, and like all my insecurities had been proven correct. Most painfully, I felt that everything I'd done hadn't mattered.
Do I belong here? Am I good enough? Am I taking up too much space? Who am I to ask for things? These feelings were always inside me, but I'd shoved them aside because Google had chosen me. Clearly, I mattered, because this important and powerful company said I did.
I knew this was something I needed to come to grips with.
Three days after being laid off, I recorded what would become the first episode of my podcast.
I got laid off at Google and it broke my heart because the company had become my life. Here are 3 things I learned about defining myself based on my job.
Sylvia Duran Chen felt rejected and ashamed after being laid off from Google and YouTube. But losing her job made her rediscover her self-worth.www.yahoo.com
