Dude, I'm stuck on this 2015 shit.
"what if I lose my mind"
If I could go back in time as I sat in front of my computer playing TF2 and Garry's Mod after I discovered that steam was a thing, I would teleport back in time, throw some books at myself and give the 2015 me 1,000,000 as well as a future telescope so I can prevent myself from being in the low pit that I'm in but then again that's retarded. Perhaps if I just teleported back to 2015 and replaced the 2015 me because cartoons somehow miss this paradox that if you go back in time the old you is never around. Fuck I don't know what I'm saying but at that time I was discovering PC gaming as I was always on console. I remember I bummed a cousins steam account, played it on my broken ass laptop then went from there. I was so amazed at Garry's Mod I became addicted to it. And at this time I was a yk, that fandom. Yeah *blushes* but I was going through an autism phase and wanted to roll with the autism bros. So I joined a, certain server and then boom I was high, addicted I wanted more. We would play on the blue hills maps. It was the best shit. Sometimes when I'm feeling very sentimental. I will boot up Garry's Mod just to revisit that map. This was before the suffering of the world was really brought about. A time that was so different I was never hooked before. I was Virgin to the idea of a fucking server, on a sandbox game, where you can be with your weird soul bros and soul mates. My autism was very high.
"let the tide do all the rest"
But yk, here we are in the gloom and doom. Over saturated slums and ghettos such as Discord. Just because something is new doesn't mean it works. Back when I played that server I was rolling with the silly fucks, the weirdos, the autism. It was my tribe. And there was pussy. Oh yes, not just any pussy. The, tender loving kind, the "come here" kind. The kind you fuck and you can't get out kind of pussy. Man, sometimes I was sexually assaulted by female gamers in this server. They were those lonely, weird, fandom freaky type. I would blush when the would wrangle my character. This one girl used to chase me around the map killing me with source one guns and shit. Now, it's just not the same. I feel old even though I'm not. My generation is very Gay, Lame, Sensitive. Back when servers were fun and not Nazi Germany. If I could be the father of a fandom that would attract the weird white women I so desperately crave. I would. I don't see any fandom as fun as the one I was in. I would want to make one that isn't completely degenerate. Perhaps, it will be so big it becomes a subculture. And boy oh boy the pussy I would get. You see, Jody Fox had it figured out. But I would not just have a video game, I would create a whole different universe. It will not be anime, it will not be relative to the fandom I used to be a part of, it will not have and relation to even the emo sub culture. It will be something conceived from the heavens and brought to me with Emeralds.
"what if I end my fucking life"
Imagine if this happened. Scene Queen would try to sabotage it and call me a rapists you watch. "Oh Guys, by the way the person that invented this fandom used to stalk me way back in 2024 - 2025. He's a real asshole and would impersonate me" Then when my weird white women don't care she blames me for her suicide attempt EVEN though I would forget about her. If anything, I would want Scene Queen to chase me in a videogame and kill my character. Imagine the evil that would come out of her. "FUCKING DIE, DIE, DIE" and she would hate that it turns me on. How could such a cutie be so fucking bad tehe. Or what if she became so mad in her mind that she has a crash out on this website, calls me a rapists then she has the strange depression event that isn't depression that she turns into a Yandere and stalks me? Imagine being stalked by a hot chick like that. She'll be like "Give me your soul daddy" or some crazy shit like that. I would have such a huge fucking boner. River would be such a jealous puss. Like I have seen this happen in writing where some innocent shy girl turns so fucking crazy, instead of her being obsessed over she obsesses. Like what if I woke up one morning, hopped on my computer and there she is on Onion Farms. "DADDY, OH DADDY, MAYBE YOU'RE SO RIGHT, FUCK ME DADDY" like crazy. You see I'm horny but that would be make me blush that some chick I trolled became so fucking obsessed with me. Like that's all that happened. You were tolled. I'm a troll. Relax. But since you wanted to try to mock me for my video games, I will continue to have your parallel universe version of you come into creation.
"where did you go this time"
Anyways. It just saddens me what technology we have yet the social degree is in a bad shape that it is. Maybe eventually I will invent this fandom that the crazy pussy will come to. And it won't be some gay band or something. It will be the shit I felt back when I was apart of that fandom in 2015, but better.