Well. I'm now tired out from being a hyper fuck. Seriously though. All the rainbows and sunshine aside.
She fucking hurt me so fucking much. That whole entire month I would seethe hard about her. I would hold things in my hands in the garden and crush them with my hands as I sat in create contemplation. I gave her my fullness. Sugar, sweetness. And all I asked was her to hug me far off in her mind. Instead she lead me on then ghosted me.
Her future isn't bright and my intuition can vouch for this. I sense nothing but a void in her. She is far gone. A shell of a former self. She only added anger into my heart toward people. Every day I walk with anger. Most of the time, it's subconscious, I forget about it. But on almost rare occasions, it's a beat that awakes from slumber. Tonight she just did this and I have great amounts of anger. The voices begin to whisper in the dark. Movies begin to play in my head. What I am so great at keeping away was just spawned in front of me because of this bitch.
People like her should be fucking crucified like heathens. They do nothing but drain people of their emotions and sweetness. Vicky will kill herself soon. Why? Because I had dreams about this. yes I did have wet dreams of her but some dreams I haven't spoken to anyone about.
One of them I remember the most. It was a misty forest, and there she was on this small bridge over a creek. Trees surrounded but the detail that stood out the most was her and the bridge. I approached slowly to see what she was doing and there she had a m1911. One of my favorite pistols. She spoke to me in esoteric ways but I remember her mentioning something being her fault and she shot herself in the head with the m1911. It wasn't gorey, it was just a simple mist of blood and then a body falling over as the pistol landed on the wood. Then what came after it was the sound of the water running over the rocks after the event died down.
I wore a cloak in silk and white, I was barely clothed for whatever reason, but after she had done that to herself, I felt a peace, a silence, a reunion with being calm.
If these signs have been in a constant and has only receded in the past 4 months, then it is a warning to me to know that she is a serpent of malice. Not one of wisdom or purity.
So yes, this angers me greatly that she decided to reach out to me now as I had no expectation of ever talking to her again. And IF she does come here and cause problems I have something waiting for her. So if she does come, she better just pass by. Forget this ever occurred and go away forever, never to be even cared of. Just spilled into time and nevermore.
