I don't think anyone really believes you did any sort of military service but it would be funny if you sacrificed your remaining sanity and got shot at for Burger King and Chase Bank and Lockheed Martin and all you got for it was PTSD and alcoholism and a shitty apartment in Chicago's chinatown as well. Honor and intellect well rewarded!
Oof, the welfare sponge hit me right in the valor gland. I don't think I'll ever be able to recover from that.
No, wait... Yeah I think I'll live. If I was going to lie about being in the armed forces I would have made myself something way cooler than an army grunt, and you aren't the first person who either told me that I was lying about something (I'm literally the person who tells everyone I lie all the time so nobody can figure out who I am) and you're definitely not the first welfare leeching reddit socialist to tell me "fuck you for your service" so meh.
And I mean come on now... are you even aware of how stupid you sound calling the apartments in Chinatown shitty? I wish this really was

because I know how much it would burn her ass to know that I live in an expensive, liberal, progressive metropolitan area while she lives in some low income housing out in the sticks of Tennessee.
Come to think about it:
- I own part of a business (albeit a small part but I still did put money into it and am a partial owner)
- I'm my own boss so people don't tell me what to do
- I live in one of the big five cities (and was born in another one)
- I live in a progressive/liberal stronghold
- I'm happily married and had 3 kids
- I actually got to travel around the world (to places I wanted to go and places I didn't want to go lol)
My life is literally the dream that you've always wanted for yourself but never had.
And goddamn... I heard you're older than me so I severely doubt you're ever going to achieve your dreams in this lifetime, Beet Foot. I hope you're a Buddhist just like my missus, maybe next life you'll be reincarnated into someone who is in a complete fucking failure
