KF Miscellaneous 𝓚𝓲𝔀𝓲 Kiwi Tropes

I was having trouble sleeping and wound up reading some TV Tropes articles until my eyes drooped, and it just occured to me "hey, you could probably assemble a thing like this, but for common features of Kiwifarms users." Maybe an actual Kiwi will read this and finally gain some enlightenment, as well (we can only hope).

Here's the ones I came up with, feel free to add your own:

Coom/Coomer/Coombait
Kiwis have a strange attitude about women, especially fictional women. They will on one hand criticize woke storytelling for making women ugly, but if the woman is ever good-looking then they're "coombait."

Much like Frank Miller, Kiwis can't seem to think about a woman without also thinking about sex, leading to them making bizarre leaps of logic when assessing the intents of writers and artists--in particular they will always assume a female character (who isn't ugly) is meant to be some flavor of "coombait" for a portion of the audience, ignoring any far more realistic possibilities that might present themselves.


Pictured: Some Kiwi somewhere is probably accusing the pink one of being "coombait" right now.

Unsurprisingly, there's more than a fair share of projection going on. Many of the things Kiwis find "sexual" are things you could only think that way about if you're one of the people getting off on it.

Consoomer
When used by a Kiwi, basically means you ever spend money on anything you don't strictly need.

The proper usage is supposed to be against people who obsessively collect and indulge in meaningless pop-cultural ephemera, but in practice Kiwis will see a guy who has a Dragonball Z shirt and assume he's an obsessive collector, when the real story could easily be that the shirt was a hand-me-down, a gift from an out-of-touch relative, or any number of things that don't necessarily indicate being a fan or collector.

Jew Conspiracy
A great many Kiwis unironically believe the "Jews secretly rule the world" conspiracy theory that has persisted for decades. As a corallory to this, Kiwis will glaze Hitler while also denying the Holocaust. It's hilarious to think that if Kiwis ever got a chance to talk to their idol, the conversation would go something like this:

"But you didn't really kill that many, right?"

"I killed millions, and I'm proud of it!"

Kiwi Blindspot
This refers to when Kiwis' self-awareness fails them. This could honestly be its own little listicle, as Kiwis are honestly not good at the whole "self-awareness" thing.

Probably the most obvious "Kiwi Blindspot" is how they look down upon every other interest or hobby in existence, and yet the hobby Kiwi Farms revolves around (obsessively following and documenting "lolcows") would, according to most who touch grass, be far weirder and more extreme than most of the things they look down on. Kiwis are the prime example of people in glass houses, throwing stones.

Meaningless Term
Kiwis have a bad habit of overusing certains words and phrases to the point that they mean absolutely nothing. Particular note goes to "autism," "nigger," and "faggot," and their derivatives--Kiwis use these to describe pretty much everyone and everything. When everyone is an autist, then no one is.

Sargon Hypocrisy
This refers to how Kiwis will expect you to read their own doorstopper posts, but when anyone else's post is longer than a few sentences they will bitch and moan about the length. Similar to how youtuber Sargon of Akkad infamously once cried out "Can't you people ever keep things below five minutes?" when he himself is no stranger to making videos that are hours long.

"This Will Make You Troon Out!"
In Kiwi-style moralfagging, basically any hobby or entertainment they don't approve of, they will associate with transsexuals. It doesn't matter if there's any actual notable overlap between the thing in question and transsexualism, often the logic is nothing more than "I hate this thing, and I hate trans people, therefore this thing makes you trans." In essence Kiwis use "Troon" the same way radical leftists use "Nazi."

One of the problems of course, is that Kiwis hate just about any passtime or hobby other than making fun of lolcows. So this falls into the trap of being completely meaningless because there's absolutely nothing that won't make you troon out.

TL;DR
"Too Long; Didn't Read" essentially a summary of a post. Kiwis will demand one, even for posts that aren't that long. I seriously once saw someone bitching about a post that was only two paragraphs, barely longer than a Dr. Seuss book. One wonders how these people got through first grade.

Troon
Slur for a transsexual person. At least, that's what it's supposed to mean.

On Kiwi Farms, usage is a little strange because in Kiwi Culture, the "troon" is the absolute symbol of evil, both a representative and a perpetrator of everything wrong with the modern world. Kiwis seem to absolutely live in fear of "trooning out" to the point where they obsessively document what media they consider "troon slop," with criteria such as "the white girl wears pink, is white, and has blue hair, which means she's the colors of the trans pride flag."

At the same time though, "troon" is yet another word that Kiwis have a tourette's-like tendency to have to inject into literally every post and accuse everything and everyone of being. If not for their weird-ass hang-ups around it, "Troon" would be just another term that Kiwis have abused to the point where it means nothing. As I said earlier, "Troon" is for Kiwis what "Nazi" is for a radical leftist--something they seem to genuinely think is a real problem and yet define too broadly to be meaningful.

Troon Conspiracy
Kiwis are obsessed with transsexuals to the point of unironically believing that trans people run the world and are the driving force behind literally everything that happens.... when they're not blaming the Jews instead (most often though, they will say that the Jews engineered trans people for.... profit, I guess? Like most conspiracy theories, it makes less sense than the fanfiction you wrote when you were five).

Woke
In common vernacular, "wokeness" is associated with things like DEI or the obsessive pushing of "progressive" ideologies.

In Kiwi vernacular, "woke" just means you don't spend your entire life obsessing over "troons."

Contrarianism, especially when it comes to morality:

Much like a two-faced politician or retards like ShortFatOtaku, a sizable chunk of the Kiwis are contrarians. By now everyone should be aware of the death of Charlie Kirk and while as horrible as it was, the Kiwis hardly show empathy to other people that were victims of tragic circumstances; the Kiwis were willing to show empathy to Charlie Kirk and his family (which is the right thing to do for a national tragedy like Kirk's assassination) but they hardly shed any tears for other people that deserve empathy too.

Take example the case of that underaged troon that killed themselves a few months ago. They were underaged (I think 17 years old at the time) and they posted that now infamous photo of the night sky before they took their own life. You'd think the Kiwis would have empathy for them because it's clear they got groomed into this that lead them to becoming part of the 41%. Instead of mourning for the death of a kid that was a victim of troon grooming, they laughed at the kid and grave danced on the kid because hey they were a troon (never mind the fact they got groomed into this shit by troon sick fucks on the Internet and they ruined this kid's life).

They are willing to condemn grave dancing Charlie Kirk but I guess grave dancing on minors tat that were groomed to troon out and later on off themselves is fine by them.

Running once funny memes into the ground:

Much like how normies are really good at running once funny jokes into the ground (Rick Rolling, WeeGee, Advice Animals, etc), the Kiwis sure are great at running once funny memes into the ground that they become cringe.

Long before Wojaks and Soyjaks became popular, the Wojaks/Soyjaks of the 2010's were Rage Comic characters (Troll Face, the Fuck Yea guy, Challeged Accepted, the Cereal Guy, Me Gusta, etc) and they were funny for a while until they wern't.

Normies would discover Rage Comics and spammed them everywhere and if you really dig into some old Kiwi threads you see retards running a good joke into the ground. By the end of the 2010's, Rage Comics became cringe and everyone moved on making Rage Comics a dead meme now.

Now and days, it's Wojaks and Soyjaks that are popular but I'm sure it won't be long until even Wojaks and Soyjaks become lame and cringe as the Internet runs those into the ground too and everyone moves on to the next big thing.

Feels Over Reals:

When it comes to political topics, half the time the Kiwis go for subjective thinking over objective ones (feels over reals).

Take porn as an example. A lot of the Kiwis adopt the unironic tradcath talking point that if we ban or restrict porn then society will become a paradise where everyone holds hands and no one is poor anymore (which is retarded utopian thinking at best).

Half of the Kiwis think enacting authoritarian will somehow not affect them and they're too stupid too see that giving any government way too much unchecked power will someday bite them in the ass. Why did the UK passed the Online Safety Act into law there? Because of retards that think giving the government more unchecked power will lead to "utopia".

Anyone that thinks giving a government more power to enact authoritarianism to achieve utopia is a laughable retard that deserves to go to the gulag first because retards that worship a government only learn the hard way on why their retarded beliefs are wrong when a government puts them in a forced labor camp and only then in the end do these retards understand.

Feels over Reals is why the Internet is being fucked right any by power hungry tyrants.

I can go on but there are the ones I can think on the top of my head right now.

Green Reddit


Do I even need to explain this one?

Kan said:

Green Reddit


Do I even need to explain this one?

Click to expand...

Yeah actually you do. I've never quite understood that name.

TheCIAGlowsInTheDark said:

Take porn as an example. A lot of the Kiwis adopt the unironic tradcath talking point that if we ban or restrict porn then society will become a paradise where everyone holds hands and no one is poor anymore (which is retarded utopian thinking at best).

Click to expand...

On that note:

Porn
As you said, Kiwis are obsessed with banning it (despite more than likely consuming large amounts of it themselves, as demonstrated by their freaky knowledge of porn content, labels, and fetishes). However, they don't actually have a definition of what "porn" is, outside of some vague concept of sexually gratifying images. Which of course runs up against the problem mentioned under "Coomer" where Kiwis seem to find just being female to be pornographic.

nobodyworthwhile said:

The proper usage is supposed to be against people who obsessively collect and indulge in meaningless pop-cultural ephemera, but in practice Kiwis will see a guy who has a Dragonball Z shirt and assume he's an obsessive collector, when the real story could easily be that the shirt was a hand-me-down, a gift from an out-of-touch relative, or any number of things that don't necessarily indicate being a fan or collector.

Click to expand...

I’ll add, there’s also nothing wrong with just being a fan and having spent money on a DBZ shirt

It’s good to be passionate about things, I’d even argue it’s good to collect things as long as they don’t make a massive dip in your bank account (Like those people that collect Monster cans, where they were gonna drink the drink anyway, they just don’t throw away the can and may even use it for DIY jewelry)

nobodyworthwhile said:

Yeah actually you do. I've never quite understood that name.

Click to expand...

Green Reddit
Despite Kiwi’s hatred of the platform, they have cultivated a platform that works very similarly. Both websites hate nuance, both websites see any dissent as “MATI”, and both websites have an obsession with a fake rating system of social credits. The only difference between a redditor and a Kiwifarmer at this point is the disagreement in politics. They both even encourage genocide!

TheCIAGlowsInTheDark said:

Contrarianism, especially when it comes to morality:

Much like a two-faced politician or retards like ShortFatOtaku, a sizable chunk of the Kiwis are contrarians. By now everyone should be aware of the death of Charlie Kirk and while as horrible as it was, the Kiwis hardly show empathy to other people that were victims of tragic circumstances; the Kiwis were willing to show empathy to Charlie Kirk and his family (which is the right thing to do for a national tragedy like Kirk's assassination) but they hardly shed any tears for other people that deserve empathy too.

Take example the case of that underaged troon that killed themselves a few months ago. They were underaged (I think 17 years old at the time) and they posted that now infamous photo of the night sky before they took their own life. You'd think the Kiwis would have empathy for them because it's clear they got groomed into this that lead them to becoming part of the 41%. Instead of mourning for the death of a kid that was a victim of troon grooming, they laughed at the kid and grave danced on the kid because hey they were a troon (never mind the fact they got groomed into this shit by troon sick fucks on the Internet and they ruined this kid's life).

They are willing to condemn grave dancing Charlie Kirk but I guess grave dancing on minors tat that were groomed to troon out and later on off themselves is fine by them.

Running once funny memes into the ground:

Much like how normies are really good at running once funny jokes into the ground (Rick Rolling, WeeGee, Advice Animals, etc), the Kiwis sure are great at running once funny memes into the ground that they become cringe.

Long before Wojaks and Soyjaks became popular, the Wojaks/Soyjaks of the 2010's were Rage Comic characters (Troll Face, the Fuck Yea guy, Challeged Accepted, the Cereal Guy, Me Gusta, etc) and they were funny for a while until they wern't.

Normies would discover Rage Comics and spammed them everywhere and if you really dig into some old Kiwi threads you see retards running a good joke into the ground. By the end of the 2010's, Rage Comics became cringe and everyone moved on making Rage Comics a dead meme now.

Now and days, it's Wojaks and Soyjaks that are popular but I'm sure it won't be long until even Wojaks and Soyjaks become lame and cringe as the Internet runs those into the ground too and everyone moves on to the next big thing.

Feels Over Reals:

When it comes to political topics, half the time the Kiwis go for subjective thinking over objective ones (feels over reals).

Take porn as an example. A lot of the Kiwis adopt the unironic tradcath talking point that if we ban or restrict porn then society will become a paradise where everyone holds hands and no one is poor anymore (which is retarded utopian thinking at best).

Half of the Kiwis think enacting authoritarian will somehow not affect them and they're too stupid too see that giving any government way too much unchecked power will someday bite them in the ass. Why did the UK passed the Online Safety Act into law there? Because of retards that think giving the government more unchecked power will lead to "utopia".

Anyone that thinks giving a government more power to enact authoritarianism to achieve utopia is a laughable retard that deserves to go to the gulag first because retards that worship a government only learn the hard way on why their retarded beliefs are wrong when a government puts them in a forced labor camp and only then in the end do these retards understand.

Feels over Reals is why the Internet is being fucked right any by power hungry tyrants.

I can go on but there are the ones I can think on the top of my head right now.

Click to expand...

Too opinionated and too long. I was assuming we all had to write our definitions in the same style as Nobody where it’s mostly observation rather than feeling.

Contrarionism
Kiwis (Much like many of the people they deride ironically) are often very contrarian, doing things purely based on whether it’ll upset the “libtards” or not. After the assassination of Charlie Kirk, you’d think it was a Catholic Church with how somber and grieving the threads immediately became. Kiwi nuns hitting the leftist’s on the bum with rulers for gravedancing on Charlie Kirk, preaching of the fire and brimstone that awaited them.

Yet when a transgender minor killed themself and the world mourned, they happily gravedanced on the kid, making the usual 41% jokes. Throwing off their parish robes and celebrating like a Protestant church in Detroit, Hallelujah!

A kiwi’s next move is decided by one question, “What would upset the left?”

Overusing Memes
Despite them once complaining about how memes like rage comics and advice animals were run into the ground, Kiwis enjoy doing the same, most likely as another own to the libs

Wojaks are their current target, even though they’re more of a sharty thing, but Kiwifarms is absorbing sharty culture despite the audience disparity (Minors and adults). Kiwis use wojaks in everything, in thread OPs, when making fun of trans people, in profile pics, in their speech. Yes, viewer! They have developed a WOJAK LANGUAGE. And they call US consoomers.

Feels over Reals
Kiwifarmers (Ironically despite their admonishment of porn) tend to chase fuzzy warm feelings, even if those feelings are leading them into a cave full of starved 800 lb bears. Kiwifarmers will back any ideology that feels right despite the obvious drawbacks to the average person. They would happily vote Hitler back into power if he said “Uh, I’ll ban porn. And I proooomise I won’t do all that other stuff again, I prooooomise”.

They can imagine a fuzzy reality of what will happen when “thing they don’t like” will become a criminal offense of the highest degree punished by death, but they can’t actually envision the reality of it and the nuances and issues. If you point out any, you’re “just a troon, let me fap feel”

Most commonly this is around banning porn. Kiwifarmers will preach that porn must be banned immediately with nothing to ease society in, but when asked how we achieve that without causing an insurrection they go blank and default to “Well, anyone who would dislike the ban is a troon so their opinion dosent matter”.

nobodyworthwhile said:

Yeah actually you do. I've never quite understood that name.

Click to expand...

Basically it's like a game of who said it. Was it kiwi farms or reddit? At this point their takes are indistinguishable.

Home said:

Too opinionated and too long. I was assuming we all had to write our definitions in the same style as Nobody where it’s mostly observation rather than feeling.

Click to expand...

This would be ideal. I'm starting to envision this topic as something I might show to people who don't know much about Kiwis so it might also be good to assume that anyone reading only knows the most surface-level info on Kiwi Farms.

By the way, I've been wondering if we should do "Trope" entries for specific Kiwis? The problem is that might end up being just ranting about people we don't like.

...................

A few more:

The 1950s
A surprisingly large number of Kiwis (though not all of them) see the American 1950s as the ideal decade, the "happy place" we should return to. Absolutely none of the Kiwis who advocate this are old enough to have actually experienced the decade personally, and when pressed it becomes clear their entire image of that time period comes from pop culture, which very likely does not reflect the reality.

The Kiwis who keep their feet on the ground will often fight the Kiwis who have their heads in the clouds over this.

IQ
Short for "Intelligence Quotient." Kiwis (as well as a lot of right-leaning groups) like to take IQ scores (especially racial averages) as meaningful data, usually to fuel whatever insane group theory they have this week.

In actual practice, your IQ is nothing more than the score you got on a test. It's exactly as meaningful as that sounds.

White-Centric Mentality
A general umbrella covering a lot of Kiwi attitudes. Generally, it can be understood as seeing white people as some sort of "default" that they are comparing other races and cultures to (this despite that in actuality "white people" is a vague and useless category because people with white skin come from all sorts of backgrounds and cultures). In general when Kiwis think of "white people" they're thinking of some platonic ideal that only exists in their head, rather than anything based in reality.

In particular it manifests whenever Kiwis judge other races, cultures, creeds and ethnicities. The most common targets of this are the Japanese, and Black people. With the former, Kiwis like to play the tired card of going on about how strange and weird Japanese media is, and yet a lot of the things they call "weird" are things western media does as well.

With black people, Kiwis seem to have it in their head that blacks are biologically predetermined to be criminals, because something something IQ scores. In essence they're unironically parroting the statements of the 1994 book The Bell Curve and not at all updating their argument to account for the many ways that book has been questioned or debunked.

Home said:

They would happily vote Hitler back into power if he said “Uh, I’ll ban porn. And I proooomise I won’t do all that other stuff again, I prooooomise”.

Click to expand...

Honestly, they wouldn't even make him promise anything.

Actually I might as well make that an entry:

Hitler
[acknowledgement for the fact I'm borrowing from a post in the KF General thread]

Adolf Hitler, who holds the title of "History's Most Famous Monster" and who most of the world holds up as a symbol of evil.

Many Kiwis will glaze Hitler. Years ago this could have been excused as being ironic, but increasingly they seem to be serious.

Much of their glazing seems based on an unrealistic image of the man--Kiwis seem to believe that if Hitler came back to life and came to power again, that he would be totally on their side. What is far more likely is that he would pretend to support them as long as they were useful, only to toss them aside once they had outlived their usefulness.

This goes back to the earlier discussion of what constitutes a "white person," where again there isn't really a standardized definition. Most relevant here though, for Hitler, just having white skin did not ensure you were a member of "the Master Race"--he also cared about whether you had Germanic ancestry. Even then, you might be declared "inferior" if your ancestry included a lot of interracial breeding.

This means, of course, that if Hitler came back to life and resumed power, most (possibly all) Kiwi Farms users would be on the chopping block, right up alongside the Jews, gay people, and transsexuals they so hate.

I mentioned this earlier, but it bears repeating that another group Hitler would be at odds with are Holocaust deniers. Hitler was proud of the fact that he killed so many Jews and would utterly detest people trying to claim he didn't actually kill that many, even if he understood their motives.

Nick Rekieta
An attorney and youtuber who at one point was a supporter of Kiwi Farms and a friend of Null. The two had some sort of falling out, after which Null (and by extension, many Kiwis) suddenly decided Rekieta was a "lolcow."

The whole story of Rekieta and the Kiwi Farms' relationship is complicated, but no matter how you read it, the Farms (and Null) do not come away looking good. Rekieta was already a shady-ass lawyer but Kiwis would countenance him just because he was an ally, showing that Null will accept anyone. And yet they also turned on him pretty easily, serving as a stark warning to anyone else who wants to support Kiwi Farms.

[This probably needs expanding as I actually don't recall a lot of the details, I just remember it didn't make anyone on either side look good]

Sinking Standards
Long-time users of Kiwi Farms will tell you that at one point, Kiwi Farms used to be quite good, but standards kept getting lower and lower, and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future.

A few particular gripes:

-The quality of Lolcow discussion. It used to be Kiwis would find actual insanity and/or wrongdoing, capture it (as video, screencap, whatever) and let it speak for itself. Nowadays, Kiwis often just post some innocuous tweet or try to take some nothing statement out of context, or in extreme cases will even just make shit up.

-There used to be a standard that you should not get mad about Lolcows. This seems to have been completely lost, as the culture nowadays is based around absolutely loathing any lolcow being discussed. Anyone who is even remotely positive about a lolcow is seen as a weirdo.

-Believe it or not, Kiwi Farms used to have a diverse range of backgrounds and political stances. Nowadays Kiwi Farms is almost exclusively far-right extremists.

-There was a time when Kiwis didn't feel the need to use racial slurs in every damn post.

On that note....

Kiwi Coprolalia
Coprolalia (from a Greek term that literally means "shit-speak") is what people think Tourette's Syndrome is--an uncontrollable compulsion to say something socially unacceptable.

On Kiwi Farms, this manifests as having to say "nigger" and "faggot" (and often a combination of the two words) pretty much every time they post, and invent several compound words that include one of the two--usually the N-word.

Kiwis will misunderstand complaints about this as pearl-clutching or taking offense, which in some cases, it is. But I suspect for many, the real problem is just they're sick of hearing it.

Many full-grown adults with developed brains long ago got over the phase where saying naughty words was novel and funny, and realized that the real problem people had wasn't that you were saying a naughty word, it was that you were saying it ad nauseum to the point where even other kids who might've found it funny have gotten sick of it. Kiwis, however, seem to have never passed this developmental threshold.

I personally used to not mind the slurs, and in fact even used them myself (but only on KF). As the years wore on though, I got sick of seeing them arbitrarily inserted into literally any thread, regardless of the context. Kiwis can't help themselves! You probably can't even talk about Barney the Dinosaur without someone having to post slurs.

Ironically, this aspect of Kiwi Farms is a good argument against free speech: it's the exact same as the argument for public decency laws. The minute you don't have restrictions, you get absolute morons who walk through parks with their cocks hanging out.

TheCIAGlowsInTheDark said:

Contrarianism, especially when it comes to morality:

Much like a two-faced politician or retards like ShortFatOtaku, a sizable chunk of the Kiwis are contrarians. By now everyone should be aware of the death of Charlie Kirk and while as horrible as it was, the Kiwis hardly show empathy to other people that were victims of tragic circumstances; the Kiwis were willing to show empathy to Charlie Kirk and his family (which is the right thing to do for a national tragedy like Kirk's assassination) but they hardly shed any tears for other people that deserve empathy too.

Take example the case of that underaged troon that killed themselves a few months ago. They were underaged (I think 17 years old at the time) and they posted that now infamous photo of the night sky before they took their own life. You'd think the Kiwis would have empathy for them because it's clear they got groomed into this that lead them to becoming part of the 41%. Instead of mourning for the death of a kid that was a victim of troon grooming, they laughed at the kid and grave danced on the kid because hey they were a troon (never mind the fact they got groomed into this shit by troon sick fucks on the Internet and they ruined this kid's life).

They are willing to condemn grave dancing Charlie Kirk but I guess grave dancing on minors tat that were groomed to troon out and later on off themselves is fine by them.

Running once funny memes into the ground:

Much like how normies are really good at running once funny jokes into the ground (Rick Rolling, WeeGee, Advice Animals, etc), the Kiwis sure are great at running once funny memes into the ground that they become cringe.

Long before Wojaks and Soyjaks became popular, the Wojaks/Soyjaks of the 2010's were Rage Comic characters (Troll Face, the Fuck Yea guy, Challeged Accepted, the Cereal Guy, Me Gusta, etc) and they were funny for a while until they wern't.

Normies would discover Rage Comics and spammed them everywhere and if you really dig into some old Kiwi threads you see retards running a good joke into the ground. By the end of the 2010's, Rage Comics became cringe and everyone moved on making Rage Comics a dead meme now.

Now and days, it's Wojaks and Soyjaks that are popular but I'm sure it won't be long until even Wojaks and Soyjaks become lame and cringe as the Internet runs those into the ground too and everyone moves on to the next big thing.

Feels Over Reals:

When it comes to political topics, half the time the Kiwis go for subjective thinking over objective ones (feels over reals).

Take porn as an example. A lot of the Kiwis adopt the unironic tradcath talking point that if we ban or restrict porn then society will become a paradise where everyone holds hands and no one is poor anymore (which is retarded utopian thinking at best).

Half of the Kiwis think enacting authoritarian will somehow not affect them and they're too stupid too see that giving any government way too much unchecked power will someday bite them in the ass. Why did the UK passed the Online Safety Act into law there? Because of retards that think giving the government more unchecked power will lead to "utopia".

Anyone that thinks giving a government more power to enact authoritarianism to achieve utopia is a laughable retard that deserves to go to the gulag first because retards that worship a government only learn the hard way on why their retarded beliefs are wrong when a government puts them in a forced labor camp and only then in the end do these retards understand.

Feels over Reals is why the Internet is being fucked right any by power hungry tyrants.

I can go on but there are the ones I can think on the top of my head right now.

Click to expand...

you really are spot on with this one, especially with the "making fun of the dead" one. I see disingenuous faggots in the political right say "NOOOOOOO YOU HAVE TO HECKIN' RESPECT THE DEAD, REGARDLESS OF THEIR BELIEFS" but then these guys literally shit on those who are dead, just because it's the people they don't like.

shit like this will always piss me off. if you condemn them because they make fun of the people they don't like who are dead, why don't you fucking lead by example then? why fucking pull that stunt where you go out of your way to defile a victim of tranny grooming's grave? they're all hypocrites.

I swear, they're all two-faced fucking coons.
next time when they start to blabber moralizing horseshit, ignore them. they're aren't worth it to engage after all

nobodyworthwhile said:

-Believe it or not, Kiwi Farms used to have a diverse range of backgrounds and political stances. Nowadays Kiwi Farms is almost exclusively far-right extremists.

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all thanks to null allowing trump niggers and 2010s election tourists roam free on the farms. this is why anOminous quit being a mod. this was said by dyn in 8chan (I think) when 8chan has this thread that acts like sort of Q&A for kiwifarms

cosmic veteran said:

all thanks to null allowing trump niggers and 2010s election tourists roam free on the farms. this is why anOminous quit being a mod. this was said by dyn in 8chan (I think) when 8chan has this thread that acts like sort of Q&A for kiwifarms

Click to expand...

Sigh.... so, sorry if I sound like a moral busybody but I feel like I have egg on my face bitching about overuse of slurs, then one shows up just a post later. Couldn't you have said "Trump Pets?" That would have gotten points for being a pun.

................................

Anyway, more Tropes:

The Breakfast Question
"How would you feel if you hadn't had breakfast today?" or, inversely, "How would you feel if you had breakfast today?"

There's a lot of theoretical questions that serve a similar purpose, which is thus: asking a person if they can conceptualize the idea that things might have played out differently, and imagine it sufficiently that they can come to an idea of what position they would be in. This question often filters midwits, who have a glaring inability to understand hypotheticals.

Kiwis, unfortunately, very often also get filtered by hypotheticals. Many a Kiwi has been asked "how would you feel if this alternate history scenario had played out?" and they always try to relate it to something that actually happened, even if the similarities between the hypothetical and the real event are paper thin (very often Kiwis are like TV Tropes users in that just using certain words is enough to invoke a similarity).

Entitlement
[acknowledging that this was suggested by someone else]

When it comes to Lolcow Youtubers, Kiwis have a bizarre attitude. To some degree it makes sense.... these tubers are often using KF as research, after all, so you'd think they'd cite their sources (although the reason they don't is kinda obvious).

What's really interesting though, is that almost to a man, Kiwis will complain about... censorship. Because these youtubers will read a post out, but will censor out the slurs. Kiwis seem to be of the opinion that A) the slurs are vitally important and that B) censoring them is some major violation of free speech.

Even if they were right, the fact is most youtubers are in it for the money and won't do things that will tank their channel. Kiwis either don't understand the realities of Youtube, or else think that these youtubers should intentionally take a hit for the sake of pleasing a few racist manchildren.

Another one.
This odd 'guessing game' they do when a tragedy like a mass shooting, crime, or even rape happens.
Like, instead of doing what any other normal person would do, know about the incident, what's the current status, or who the perpetrator even is, they write things like:
"100 bucks it's a troon"
"I bet it was a commie/black/migrant/anarchist/whateverthefuckihateatthemoment"
"His skin is white? HE'S JEWISH WE DINDU NUFFIN WRONG"

It keeps happening and it happened today, again.

Left Is Never Right

Kiwi Farms has a strict mindset regarding political opinions and will never, ever accept any view held by a left-winger is correct. They attempt to hold every non-leftist position simultaneously. This leads to amusing doublethink where Kiwi Farmers claim to support libertarianism classical liberalism but love Trump tariffs, hate Jews but love Israel and Zionism, or hate both black people and the very thought of aborting black babies.

At times this contradiction goes into the territory of schizophrenia, where Kiwi Farmers believe Democrat weather machines steer hurricanes into red states and Jews are using cloud seeding to send flash floods to kill Christian children at Texas summer camps. Do not ask them why they have a yearly laugh at California wildfires, though. And definitely do not ask them why they believe weather machines and cloud seeding can manipulate hurricanes and cause record flash flooding but climate change is just a liberal hoax.

Kiwis Love to LARP
LARP, short for "Live Action Role Play," originated as a term within the tabletop roleplaying hobby. It was when people wanted to not just sit at a table and pretend to be knights and wizards, but actually dress up as those characters and explore actual environments.... sort of an evolution of Mazes and Monsters Dungeons & Dragons.

In common parlance, "LARP" has come to mean any time someone pretends to be something they're not. And some people LARP hardcore, to the point they believe they actually are the thing.

An aspect of this in Kiwi's case is that they actually idealize certain time periods and types of people, seeing those as some sort of "ideal." Look at this post where a Kiwi shows his ideal of what a "grown up" is... and its all images from movies, rather than anything representative of real life.

The 1950s in particular seems to be a period Kiwis love to romanticize, but as the above example shows, a lot of their image of it seems to come from movies and television. When pressed, Kiwis reveal they basically think the 1950s was "like today, but without all the stuff I hate." I once saw a hilarious topic where someone said if they got hurt, they'd just go to the hospital, only to have another Kiwi point out that health insurance and social security didn't exist back then and hospital bills could be costly. This just shows how disconnected from reality Kiwis usually are.

Two other common types of LARPing on KF are "Outdoorsman LARP" and "Tradcath LARP."

Outdoorsman LARP
As mentioned in previous posts, Kiwis basically hate all forms of entertainment. When pressed, they will do what your dad did and say you should "unplug" and take a walk and enjoy the great outdoors and get back to nature.

It's very unlikely that most Kiwis ever actually do this themselves, but they sure love telling other people to do it. They also like to say the only "real skills" are practical survivalist/outdoorsmen stuff... even though those won't be useful for most of the population (and let's face it, most Kiwis don't have such skills either. Anyone but me thinking that there might be a level of self-loathing in your average Kiwi?)

Tradcath LARP
"Tradcath" is short for "Traditional Catholic," although in this context it actually means the exaggerated theme park version of some nebulous idea of "Christian Beliefs." Basically, you know how in Stephen King movies and books, the religious character is always the most extreme and unreasonable person? Kiwis looked at those characters and decided they were role models.

Like most fake religious people, Kiwis have never actually read the Bible, just a few select quotes. Instead they basically just take the generic pop-culture version of what a "Christian" is and run it to extremes. Sorry, even Macaulay Culkin or other famously abused children still have to "honor thy mother and father" even when many actual Christians would understand making an exception for cases like that.

Many Kiwis even advocate "King James Version only" and declare that any alternate translation you've read is actually a ploy by Satan. Not joking.

Also apparently they don't want you actually reading the Bible.

MATI
Short for "Mad At The Internet," also represented as a sticker of a top hat on the Kiwi forums.

The intended meaning is to tell someone that they're being irrationally angry at something online. However, the reality is that Kiwis really aren't good at reading people and will see pretty much any response as MATI, regardless of if there's anything that would actually indicate that.


(click for full size)

The funny thing is even Kiwis have realized that accusations of "MATI" tend to mean the accuser is the one who is getting mad.

Cope and Seethe
"Cope" is supposed to mean coming up with a comforting belief to avoid admitting something you'd rather not, and "Seethe" is supposed to be anger at people who pointed out uncomfortable truths.

These fall into a problem similar to MATI, however. Kiwis will often dismiss any argument--no matter how well-supported--as "coping and seething." Ironically, they likely do this as a form of cope themselves.

A peculiar aspect of Kiwi psychology is they seem only capable of understanding things on a personal/emotional level, never on a philosophical or logical one. As such, they tend to read any presentation of evidence, or even pointing out purely logical contradictions in their beliefs, as "cope" and "seethe."


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Evidence and even just clear reasoning never enter into Kiwi thought. It's always emotional, and in their world, the only emotions that exist are "butthurt" and "anger." One wonders if they're even capable of understanding anything else.

cosmic veteran said:

you really are spot on with this one, especially with the "making fun of the dead" one. I see disingenuous faggots in the political right say "NOOOOOOO YOU HAVE TO HECKIN' RESPECT THE DEAD, REGARDLESS OF THEIR BELIEFS" but then these guys literally shit on those who are dead, just because it's the people they don't like.
View attachment 100227
shit like this will always piss me off. if you condemn them because they make fun of the people they don't like who are dead, why don't you fucking lead by example then? why fucking pull that stunt where you go out of your way to define a victim of tranny grooming's grave? they're all hypocrites.

I swear, they're all two-faced fucking coons
next time when they start to blabber moralizing horseshit, ignore them. they're aren't worth it to engage after all

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The logic is
Transgender killing themself = Transgender evil so death good
Right wing politician dying = Right good so death bad
And they think this is common sense, it literally isn’t cause it’s hypocritical kindergarten thinking. Ignoring the fact that their opponents that they call “ghouls” think THE EXACT SAME WAY just reversed.

It’s a never ending cycle of hypocrisy and retardation.

I don’t like the “groomed child” angle with Charlotte cause it implies the grave dancing is bad cause he’s underaged, no, it’s cause it’s grave dancing.

nobodyworthwhile said:

MATI

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Kek, nice drawings. MATI is just a kiwi’s way of saying “I don’t like that”. It’s literal cult shit, you could say your point as calmly and as collectedly as physically possible but if they don’t like it then youre somehow MATI. It means nothing anymore.

nobodyworthwhile said:

(click for full size)

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When it comes to stuff like this, I think another kiwi trope is almost the assumption that person B should care that they’re being “exposed”.

Take this scenario, let’s say I meet a Mormon man and one day he catches me drinking coffee. He then runs to his other Mormon friends and gossips about how I was having a cup of joe. In his mind (and their’s) I’m “exposed”. In the whole world’s, I’m not. This is sort of something kiwis go through a lot, where they forget they’re the only ones who care about this shit.

When they exposed Pyro for being a furry, they were dumbfounded the world didn’t care beyond making lighthearted jokes laughing with him. When Taxxon was having his Indigo Park phase, they were confused on why no one was taking issue with his lusting after the raccoon. It’s cause no one in real life gives a fuck about this shit. Kiwis often say “Every NORMAL person thinks ___” but that’s always been, as they say, cope.

Home said:

Kiwis often say “Every NORMAL person thinks ___” but that’s always been, as they say, cope.

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I sometimes wonder if Kiwis even know what "Normal" is.

It's funny but I've seen Kiwis go back and forth on this. Sometimes they say "Normal people think ____" but then other times they're derisive about "normies" and how stupid "normies" are.

It's like... some Kiwis know they're not normal. Some think they're the symbols and protectors of normality, but then their version of "normal" is something that if you said it to a man on the street, you would sound like an absolute crackpot.

In fact, that should be a trope:

"Man in the Street" Test
Kiwis like to think they represent "normal" people in a war against... whatever it is they've decided is the big evil destroying western civilization today.

But here's a test: try acting like a Kiwi in real life, in a public place. Go into a restaurant and say slurs. Tell grandpa he's a psycho degenerate for needing meds, go up and dance on the literal grave of a trans kid.

Some Kiwis know that they would get arrested or possibly shot for this shit, but even then they will never acknowledge that the problem may be that Kiwis are a bunch of out-of-touch manchildren who spend too long in their internet echo chamber, instead they'll claim normies have been brainwashed by Jews, Globohomo, or who-the-heck-ever.

This goes into another thing:

Kiwi Reading the Room
This has kind of already been discussed in the previous sections on cope, MATI, etc. But since Kiwis seemingly never take anything at face value (they may not even understand what "face value" is), they always have a bizarre understanding of anything they see, hear, or read... especially read.

For example, there's been many times a Kiwi has read a post that is clearly satirical or joking, and understood it as 100% serious. One example I recall off the top of my head was a few years ago a channel called Scare Theater made an April Fools video called "Trump Created the COVID Virus," which caused a lot of Kiwis to immediately assume Scare Theater had sold his soul to politics and become radleft.

This was back when KF was more sane, so eventually a few did watch it and realize "oh, its just a joke." Now that most of the sanity has left, you can imagine how this would have played out today.

Another common one is Kiwis will always be convinced they're "winning" any argument they're in, no matter what. This, again, goes to the earlier entries on "cope" and "seethe." They pretty much always believe any reply they get is either (or both) of those things. It is, again, like they're incapable of separating the actual facts of a discussion from their own subjective feelings.

nobodyworthwhile said:

I sometimes wonder if Kiwis even know what "Normal" is.

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It’s simple
If it’s normal, you wouldn’t be saying it on an anonymous forum, you’d attach it to your name and say it with your whole chest. The opinions of mine I feel are normal, I say it with my whole chest irl. These people have to “mask”, they’re silently admitting they’re not normal.