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✿ ✿ ✿ Faux90sKid ✿ ✿ ✿

I had to masturbate. I feel better now. I was so worked up and I was in my feelings. Now I'm calm and relaxed.

There is something so spiritual about masturbation. I honestly wish my soul mate wives would do this. It wouldn't make me horny but see girl masturbate to me would be so warm to me. I get tired of watching whores do it. Shit gets lame. I honestly want to see a girl do hand rituals inside of her pussy. Maybe you could should do that for me. Or I mean not do it. Sorry.

Anyways. I'm calm now. I was just really stuck on you earlier. You know Ghost Girl. I know just the place we could be. I went to the Destin Beach area of Florida. Oh baby it was so beautiful there. The fishies would always follow you. And I got stung by a jellyfish. I'm okay though. Violet Gold. What if we just dropped everything and took a chance there? Man & women taking on the uncharted.

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So fucking amazing their Violet. I'd honestly just... I'd just want to be with you here. We can hold hands and slowly walk through the white sands. Be within the crystal blue of the water. Go hunting for Jelly fish. As much as the fucker hurt. They are so cute. Cute little pink meanies. Awww their so cute. It didn't even hurt when he got me. I was more shocked than in pain. They aren't poisonous either and the rash went away in an hour but I wouldn't let one hurt you I promise but they are so beautiful when you spot them.

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The one that got me looks just like this one and the other two I spotted from a safe distance were a little bit bigger than this one. They are easy to spot since the water is clear but the reason the one that got me stung me was because I wasn't paying attention. And then the fish that were following me. Awwwww. So cute. They were Blue Grunts and Yellow Tail Snappers. They would chase me everywhere I went. There would always be a school of them every beach I went to. It was like I was being chased by little children because the reason they do this is because they stick with things that seem intimating to predators. So thats why they follow humans around. But they kept chasing me and chasing me and then they would try to nibble on your feet. Probably because of the seaweed but they don't mean any harm.

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And the locals were very friendly. No junkie shit. No riff raff. No drugs. Everyone was in harmony. The only assholes there were happened to be on the main roads but every where else. Friendly as can be. So many jobs available. The healthcare is great in the last 3 counties of the panhandle. They were "santa rosa", "escambia", "okaloosa".

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Violet Gold. I would want to live here with you. Just think, we make bread and then we have the beach an hour away. The weather is so bad like your state in the winter time. If we wanted to go to key west it wouldn't be too far away. If we wanted to go to Texas, that wasn't too far away either. This would be the place. Me & you. I was honestly thinking so much about you when I was there. Oh the fucking smile on your face. The vibe in your eyes. You wouldn't need weed or beer. You had the sunset, the sands, the majestic waters. The nature that would accompany you. The neighbors who would spare a smile and a hello. Yeah rich people live here but it's only in the city limits. But they know how to use their money. Not material things but a beach house, maybe a nice car and just enough to be with the ocean. Just think, you unfuck your driver license issues, start fresh here and get back on track. The roads are nice. The state tax dollars go to the right things. I mean, fucking everything was perfect. Omg you would fucking love it here. You'd like it there more than Vegas and those other places you went to and yes there is plenty of urban exploration.

I'm so sorry you feel the way you do. Please don't kill yourself.
 
tell you what no bullshit
if I win that lottery I showed you, I will get my shit together because I have a lot of terrible shit going on in my life and I'd literally drive all of the way to your state in a new car that needs have some miles put on it. Nothing fancy, something like a honda civic or accord brand new. then we take a road trip down to these counties and we just say fuck you to life for a month? I dont wanna fuck you or do any of that shit. I'd just want to share those amazing moments with you and spoil you like you wanted to spoil me. I dont wanna be your sugar daddy i just want to fucking save you

youd be so fucking happy there i swear on my bro i fucking swear on that. omg i would blush if i made you so happy and then since you want to lose weight we could go on hiking trails, the bike trails, do jogs on the beach, wrestle with the waves when they are on red flags and violet i promise im a good swimmer, if a rip tide so happens to get us i got you baby dont you be afraid. if you have trouble swimming, i got you baby. ill be right there next to you but youll have a blast i promise then i could get my boating license and wed sail away omg violet wed fucking be free at last

theres a song i want you to listen to that made me break down because it was so beautiful


i get so emotional to this song because the reason why he wrote this is because he went through some shit and hed always think about sailing


Well, it's not far down to paradise
At least it's not for me
And if the wind is right you can sail away
And find tranquility
Oh, the canvas can do miracles

Just you wait and see
Believe me
It's not far to never never land
No reason to pretend
And if the wind is right you can find the joy
Of innocence again
Oh, the canvas can do miracles

Just you wait and see
Believe me
Sailing
Takes me away to where I've always heard it could be
Just a dream and the wind to carry me
Soon I will be free

Fantasy
It gets the best of me
When I'm sailing
All caught up in the reverie
Every word is a symphony
Won't you believe me?
Sailing
Takes me away to where I've always heard it could be
Just a dream and the wind to carry me
Soon I will be free

Well, it's not far back to sanity
At least it's not for me
And if the wind is right you can sail away
And find serenity
Oh, the canvas can do miracles

Just you wait and see
Can't you, believe me?
Sailing
Takes me away to where I've always heard it could be
Just a dream and the wind to carry me
And soon I will be free


The lyrics highlighted in aquamarine gets to me the most. When he sings about the wind and being free I just want to break down but baby the canvas can do miracles. I was there for the 5 days I was there. I want to save you so bad.
 
but if you die. i know you'd be with me. if you get cremated I'd want to spread your ashes down there. if you're buried id print out pictures, get those sky lanterns and send you off into the stars during a full moon and write love letters and also attach them to the lantern.

you will always be my ghost girl violet gold
 
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