I have an important question

[Jack]

How come in every zombie movie when a really long time has passed and the zombies are rotten and it's to the point where most of the supplies are gone, how come all the grass is still neatly cut?

Who the fuck is cutting all the lawns in the zombie apocalypse???

Are we to believe that people are still so concerned with their lawn care after the dead have risen and begun to eat their loved ones, that they go out there in groups and take turns protecting each other whilst pushing those old school shitty mowers that aren't gas powered?



That seems like quite a lot of time they're wasting that could be used growing crops and educating the next generation of zombie killing children and learning basic medicine.

 

[polonium]

That seems like quite a lot of time they're wasting that could be used growing crops and educating the next generation of zombie killing children and learning basic medicine.

Maybe the survivors are eating the grass

 

[Jack]

Maybe the survivors are eating the grass

Stop it, Polonium.

We CAN'T DO THAT!!!!

 

[polonium]

Reanimated corpses roaming the countryside is a-OK but people eating grass gets a fact check.

Thanks Obama

 

[Jack]

Reanimated corpses roaming the countryside is a-OK but people eating grass gets a fact check.

Thanks Obama

The reanimated corpses can still do what they want because we're suspending our disbelief for them.

I'm supposed to suspend my disbelief on my own nutrition and how my digestive system works? No I won't allow it. My imagination will literally not stretch that far sir. And quite frankly I'm a little offended that you expected my disbelief to stretch that far.

What kind of girl do you think I am?

 

[polonium]

The stretchy kind

 

[𒂶𒃑𒄀𒄖𒄦𒅑𒆑]

This will happen

 

[Jack]

This will happen
View attachment 52367

Oh my GOOOOOOOOOOOD

 

[AvonBird35]

Who the fuck is cutting all the lawns in the zombie apocalypse???


View attachment 52361

I have a theory. The very thing that is causing people to turn zombies could infect the environment as well and cause grass to wither creating what is perceived as a perfectly cut grass.....

Or we could pass a law making the rich Jewish cabal (Rothschild, Bloombergs, Soros, etc.) to cut the grass while everyone else tries to survive as those rich Jews could never die since they are immortal.

 

[Jack]

I have a theory. The very thing that is causing people to turn zombies could infect the environment as well and cause grass to wither creating what is perceived as a perfectly cut grass.....

Or we could pass a law making the rich Jewish cabal (Rothschild, Bloombergs, Soros, etc.) to cut the grass while everyone else tries to survive as those rich Jews could never die since they are immortal.

What if the zombies can secretly move around and talk like we do, and so they're the ones actually taking care of the houses and the lawns and they just act like slow moving dead bodies that are trying to bite you as an elaborate troll on living people?

 

[AvonBird35]

What if the zombies can secretly move around and talk like we do, and so they're the ones actually taking care of the houses and the lawns and they just act like slow moving dead bodies that are trying to bite you as an elaborate troll on living people?

Hmmm.....Well if the dead bodies that are trying to bite you are trolling you, then why could someone get bit and be infected? But then would you just be bit and join these dead bodied trolls? That would be one of the great trolling in history.

 

[polonium]

Maybe the grass is trolling everyone by growing to a fixed length and then stopping.

 

[Gore San]

Plants vs zombies

 

[Jack]

Maybe the grass is trolling everyone by growing to a fixed length and then stopping.

Maybe the grass is afraid of the zombies and that's why it stops growing after a couple of inches lol.

 

[Jack]

Hold up... Maybe the zombies are vegetarians and so they're biting people to make more zombies to help them eat the grass so it stays trimmed.

 

[Gore San]

So no mention of the bottomless magazines?

 

[polonium]

So no mention of the bottomless magazines?

Reloading is for pussies. Ask Baldwin.

 

[Jack]

So no mention of the bottomless magazines?

I mean I'm running myself ragged trying to do with one issue at a time here. Our focus right now is on the grass and how it's neatly trimmed.

 

[Gore San]

>not considering the bullet dumping cuts the grass at the same time as it kills the zombies. Gatling go brr

 

[Jack]

>not considering the bullet dumping cuts the grass at the same time as it kills the zombies. Gatling go brr

Okay well that answers half the question. But what about in the rural areas but there's not a lot of gunfire? You see what I'm saying here? No matter where we go no matter how much action there is the grass is always that uniform one to two inches in height.

No I think... I think there's something bigger at play here...