Market Awareness Campaign
Purpose: Increase brand-name visibility
Target Area: Chattanooga,TN (+25 Mile Radius)
Estimated Daily social media accounts reached: 762 to 2,200
Cost: $5.00/day

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Pandas

polonium

High performance shitposting
An Onion Among Onions
The fucking panda.
Literally what the phrase "evolutionary dead end" was invented for. A bear that doesn't eat meat, just bamboo shoots. A vegan bear. The worst bear.
Literally too dumb to fuck, would have been extinct by now if it wasn't the fucking mascot of Gorious Chinee Communist Party. They lend these fucking things out to zoos around the world and heaven forbid if one croaks while it's in your care. Also if by some miracle you manage to get one of these enormous failures to breed then the ching chang chongs will claim the cubs and demand them back.
 
Don't forget that usually panda breeders/caretakers have to dress up as pandas themselves. Keeping pandas alive is a furry's job #helppandasyiff
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