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In a tiny ass communism cuntry named Denmark, long before those disgusting, untermensche sandniggers came to rape the pristine snow hoe asses, on August 12th 1991, a Danish woman committed a great offense of giving birth to a Dane boy who would later grow to be a disappointing human sack of shit...or should I say, balloons?
Meet our favorite fat retard, Samuel Pettersen, aka, MylarBalloon!
Children love balloons, but hardly anyone of them to do quite literally, and let such disgusting fetish bloom throughout their adulthood like Samuel. This 34 year old shut- in is obsessed with mylar balloons, 90s old technology, square objects, and being fat, some shitty techno music and Bratz. Despite being born in a country with arguably one of the best, if not the best, social safety nets, Samuel is very ungrateful that he wasn't born in a shithole Ukraine or Camden New Jersey of the USA. Oh, did I say he is fat? At least 191 pounds!
Hi Sam! Did you check your blood sugar level today?
Samuel's obsession with mylar balloons.
Samuel quite literally loves Mylar Balloons. So far, there are at least 900 in his room. Because Denmark doesn't want American shits in general, it's quite possible that Samuel uses the hard earned tax euro coins to buy from the US. Surely, the government should do something about this fatty. At least 5000 US bucks have been spent on the balloons alone, when he could have spent it to buy somethiing more fun like dildos, sex dolls, PS5, sulfuric acid bombs to throw at towel heads, or you know, in light of recent medical developments, ozempics. Yes, he rapes those poor le kawaii balloons with his Azn-like small penis. He also has a hate boner against latex and shit.
He likes it so much, he says shits like these!
Sam and 90s.
Sam was born in 1991, so while he was technically born in 90s he wasn't old enough to really appreciate whatever the 90s were to offer. In fact, he has a very odd faux-pas nostalgia about American culture even though he never sat his fat feet in teh greatest reverse buck breaking country. His love for animu, McDonalds and Dr Pepper are pretty on spot for fat shut ins like others, but his obsession with old technologies and techno music is rather bizzare.
Sam loves anime with magical girl tropes such as Sailor Moon, Card Captor Sakura, and spent an inordinate amount of money (to the order of $6000).
....While scorning women of his own country. Also, he has an odd fixation on girl characters.
Despite his frequent America bashing in OF, he once wanted to move to the USA.
He is obsessions with ancient, pre-Web 1.0 technology include comfortable 1980s chairs, square electronics, and ancient computers bur refuses to elaborate why he hates all the modern technologies. If he actually had some sense of retro-fashion and smarts for old tech, that'd be at least admirable. But instead he has an eye sore fashion like this.
Resemblance to Christopher Weston Chandler.
Samuel and Chris are very similar to each other despite Samuel's vitriolic protests. Lets take a look.
Trolls on various places such as ED, 888chan, youtube, facebook would even call him "Danish Chris" and Samuel of course reacted quite poorly, by either calling them "illegal" or asking FBI (????) to take them down. That of course did not work.
Conclusion: Fat and retarded lol
Meet our favorite fat retard, Samuel Pettersen, aka, MylarBalloon!
Children love balloons, but hardly anyone of them to do quite literally, and let such disgusting fetish bloom throughout their adulthood like Samuel. This 34 year old shut- in is obsessed with mylar balloons, 90s old technology, square objects, and being fat, some shitty techno music and Bratz. Despite being born in a country with arguably one of the best, if not the best, social safety nets, Samuel is very ungrateful that he wasn't born in a shithole Ukraine or Camden New Jersey of the USA. Oh, did I say he is fat? At least 191 pounds!
Hi Sam! Did you check your blood sugar level today?
Samuel's obsession with mylar balloons.
Samuel quite literally loves Mylar Balloons. So far, there are at least 900 in his room. Because Denmark doesn't want American shits in general, it's quite possible that Samuel uses the hard earned tax euro coins to buy from the US. Surely, the government should do something about this fatty. At least 5000 US bucks have been spent on the balloons alone, when he could have spent it to buy somethiing more fun like dildos, sex dolls, PS5, sulfuric acid bombs to throw at towel heads, or you know, in light of recent medical developments, ozempics. Yes, he rapes those poor le kawaii balloons with his Azn-like small penis. He also has a hate boner against latex and shit.
He likes it so much, he says shits like these!
MYLAR MAKES MY PENIS WET WITH JOY IF YOU HATE MYLAR YOU SHOULD BE KILLED MYLAR BALLOONS IS SEXIER THAN DIRTY HIPPYS AND HUMANS!
When I see a Rubber Balloon I becomes angry and want to shot the latex balloon but I am very happy when I see a Mylar Foil Balloon. to me Latex Balloons are fake and Mylar is real balloons.
Mylar Balloons smell good and feel good on my penis.
When I see a Rubber Balloon I becomes angry and want to shot the latex balloon but I am very happy when I see a Mylar Foil Balloon. to me Latex Balloons are fake and Mylar is real balloons.
Mylar Balloons smell good and feel good on my penis.
Sam and 90s.
Sam was born in 1991, so while he was technically born in 90s he wasn't old enough to really appreciate whatever the 90s were to offer. In fact, he has a very odd faux-pas nostalgia about American culture even though he never sat his fat feet in teh greatest reverse buck breaking country. His love for animu, McDonalds and Dr Pepper are pretty on spot for fat shut ins like others, but his obsession with old technologies and techno music is rather bizzare.
Sam loves anime with magical girl tropes such as Sailor Moon, Card Captor Sakura, and spent an inordinate amount of money (to the order of $6000).
....While scorning women of his own country. Also, he has an odd fixation on girl characters.
Despite his frequent America bashing in OF, he once wanted to move to the USA.
He is obsessions with ancient, pre-Web 1.0 technology include comfortable 1980s chairs, square electronics, and ancient computers bur refuses to elaborate why he hates all the modern technologies. If he actually had some sense of retro-fashion and smarts for old tech, that'd be at least admirable. But instead he has an eye sore fashion like this.
Resemblance to Christopher Weston Chandler.
Samuel and Chris are very similar to each other despite Samuel's vitriolic protests. Lets take a look.
| Chris Chan | Samuel Pettersen | |
| Unhealthy, odd interests | Sonic and MFP fandom and more recently(?), goddess complex | balloons, anime girls |
| degenerate sexual interests | his mom, lol. | balloons. again |
| Health status | fat | fat |
| Employment | No | No |
| Attractiveness | -9000 out of 10 | -6000 out of 10 |
| Fashion sense | dresses up like teenager | dresses up anime girl or eyesore 90's-like fashion |
Trolls on various places such as ED, 888chan, youtube, facebook would even call him "Danish Chris" and Samuel of course reacted quite poorly, by either calling them "illegal" or asking FBI (????) to take them down. That of course did not work.
Conclusion: Fat and retarded lol
