United States Florida-man thread

[fag0t]

Here is an article with more info I think.

Fast-food customer sues Dunkin’ Donuts over ‘traumatic’ toilet explosion

He’ll skip the chocolate glaze.

nypost.com

>Loss of the capacity for enjoyment of life

I probably shouldn't be laughing but I am.

this is why we prefer to shart in mart

 

[Crimson Fucker]

I walk to the store, can't hold my shit anymore
Everybody walk the dinosaur
I call a stranger a whore, people staring some more
Everybody walk the dinosaur

I kick down the door, and shit on the floor
Everybody walk the dinosaur
Slip and fall on the floor, hit my head on the door
Everybody walk the dinosaur

 

[Crimson Fucker]

Florida man with underwear around neck found prowling near $7K bonsai tree theft: Cops

Cops found a Florida man wearing a pair of underwear around his neck prowling near where two bonsai trees worth $7,000 were stolen days earlier, a press release said.

lawandcrime.com

Police: Man shot in head during argument outside Holly Hill home

Holly Hill police said the 44-year-old victim was shot in the head during an argument at a Holly Hill home in the 100 block of Flomich Avenue.

www.news-journalonline.com

South Florida Man Pleads Guilty to Participating in a Conspiracy to Distribute Protonitazene from China

Today, a south Florida defendant pled guilty to participating in a conspiracy to possess with intent to distribute a synthetic opioid, protonitazene.

www.justice.gov

Grief Counselor, Teacher and Coach Among 123 Men Arrested on Charges Related to Human Trafficking in Florida

Christopher Barba, Gregory Pfefferkorn, Adam Turner and James Villacorteza were among those arrested, authorities say

people.com

 

[Crimson Fucker]

Florida Man Accused of Throwing Child Out of Window Amidst Custody Dispute

Cadrum Coleman, 20, from Tarpon Springs, Florida, is accused of throwing a 1-year-old child out of a window during a custody dispute. He faces charges of interference with custody and child neglect.

bnnbreaking.com

1-year-old thrown from 2nd-story window during Florida custody battle

A Florida man is accused of throwing a 1-year-old out of a second-story window during a custody dispute on Sunday.

www.mystateline.com

 

[Kunikazu Okumura]

Florida man tried to rob me the other day.

 

[Crimson Fucker]

Did he use an alligator?

 

[Kunikazu Okumura]

Did he use an alligator?

You know what, I'm not comfortable sharing the real details here. But sure.

 

[Yandere_Theory]

gta6 trailer actually refers to florida men, watering flowers with a thong on.