Chapter One Of My Story So Far: "The Quest For The Source"

Dum Cruise

Dum Cruise

Nostalgia
Hellovan Onion
Antioriginism is a system of ignorance. It creates every ill, malice, and evil in the world by distorting pure bliss into suffering and pain. It creates everything that it is trying to avoid just by existing. Antioriginism is another word for what is more commonly known as… existence.
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Very edgy, very powerful.
 
naught

naught

`he who laughs last laughs best`
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  1. untitled
  2. Chapter One: The Quest For The Source
  4. An inherent law in the universe and cosmos. An inherent law in natural selection. An inherent law in human nature. My name is (inaudible first and last name) and I’m here to change the rules. I just need the help of the four others and their symbols. But they’ve been separated. Torn apart. Cast away on separate planes. I can bring them back though. I just need the power. The power of… MEMES!
  6. I don’t necessarily mean the internet kind of meme by the way. Symbols. Expressions. The memes of the four. The original meaning. Genes are important too by the way, but what I was talking about before was the original. There is a source. Maybe it’s an impossible dream, but hell, I wanna try it anyway. I’ve almost never tried anything new in my life. By try it, I mean REACH IT. Who’s the closest to the origin though?
  8. Fifth was shattered into 111,111,111,111 pieces. If only that was 11 1’s, that would have been truly marvelous. That number is how many humans there will be in the turning point. For reference, there’s an estimated 100 billion to have ever lived right now. Life is a mathematical equation, but what kind?
  10. I don’t know, that’s why I need to find someone else who knows. However, out of those 12 one’s, there will be THE ONE. It would be kind of funny if there were 12 ONES and then there was a secret 13th baddy they needed to defeat. This has all been weird so far, and so let’s backtrack a bit and talk about how Fifth was shattered. She had always had a certain immunity to the hardships of life. I decided she was just acting stoic but freaking out on the inside. Why do people act stoic anyway? Phonies. Liars. However, now I do realize she may come back as a phoenix. Why? PHOny, PHOenix. That may be stupid, but this stupid puzzle are like those video games where you jump into a pit because you’re sick of being stuck and don’t even know what to do anymore.
  12. Okay yeah, to prove I’m not just making up meaningless ramblings, I’ll tell you that Fifth’s immunity was because she earnestly believed she was empty, not even having a core. But, the primordial monster had a very special thing and we all recognized it, except for her. It was enough to break us four. It was terror incarnate. We all ran away, leaving her alone. So much for loyalty. She decided to try and cut it off, thankfully First had run away. I do not want to speak about why that’s a good thing. That’s right First, I DO have a sense of empathy!
  14. However, it angered the monster. Like very badly. It definitely had to get rid of her, no matter what. It decided to use the ultimate weapon. No, the special thing was not a weapon. You should definitely be ashamed of yourself if you see it as a weapon. The ultimate weapon was one that could affect EVERYONE. It was… the panic of drowning.
  16. That’s actually how the monster got it’s name by the way. A primordial fear that all humans shared in common. Supposedly even people who couldn’t feel fear could still feel panic if they were drowning. So the monster decided to annihilate himself to annihilate her. He turned into a flood of water and Fifth was caught inside. We didn’t see it, but the monster was glad to inform us later on that it shattered her core. He also told us that it was near-impossible to do that, and that it only worked on Fifth because her empty nature made it easier to access.
  18. How did she even get shattered into such a specific amount of pieces? Would it just be a group of cells invisible to the naked eye? Apparently the answer was yes, and that each group would have it’s purpose. It still hadn’t had a purpose yet though. That’s what the monster told us. Oh yeah, nobody defeated it by the way. To this day, it still has it’s reign of terror on the world. The monster is a really boring character to analyze, literally all it wants is to hurt people. Pure sadism.
  20. Now, the whole flood thing may seem like a weird Biblical metaphor but I’m going to tell you right now. It is not. Stranger metaphors are yet to come. I wonder if there’s a worse monster though, somehow. That may sound like foreshadowing, but come on now, do you think I would make such an obvious red herring? But what if this is a double red herring and me saying it’s a red herring is actually not a red herring. I was going to continue on with the layers but I think you get the point.
  22. I remember I mentioned symbols in the first paragraph of this… story? Is this even a story? Whatever. My symbol is a pair of wings. I tended to see them a lot in dreams. Flying. I decided it likely meant something about freedom. I tend to end up frequently tied up or caged in my dreams and then escaping. Uh, I also have my own theme song sometimes. I always feel so sad when I wake up after those kinds of dreams. Does this mean I see life as a cage? I’m not sure actually. I guess I did talk about reaching an origin, but is that not still life? Do I actually want something beyond that?
  24. That would be strange! The source is supposed to be the beyond. What could be beyond the beyond? Would that just be where I am now? My head hurts from just thinking about it. I do tend to get a lot of headaches. I wonder if it’s because my emotions are getting stuck up there or something. Somatization.
  26. If I’m going to talk about what emotions are getting stuck in the parts of my mind I can’t even see myself, I guess I’ll have to dive deep into it. I remember the 9th incarnation of the universe had a man invent a way to delve into that. Like not just observe it, but literally go into it. Unfortunately for everyone, it was not a device or anything. That’s lame because the way to delve into the hidden mind is to do the exact opposite of what it wants to do the most. So basically, you had no way of knowing what it wanted, or if it was even possible.
  28. The man ended up finding that what he wanted to do the most of all was to get a tattoo. Of course, the opposite of getting a tattoo was to remove one. Getting a tattoo and then removing it had worked. Apparently it freaked out the tattoo remover because she thought she had accidentally killed him as he was now unconscious.
  30. That’s such a weird thing to unknowingly desire the most. I wonder if mine is something like, riding a hot air balloon. What would even be the opposite of that? What a stupid process. You’d expect something profound like wanting to be reborn, wanting to achieve one’s full potential, wanting to create a universe, but no. Literally just… wanting a tattoo.
  32. Anyway, after the man had entered the hidden part of his mind, he found different zones of it. There was a tattoo empire among other things. There was also a small red box labelled with “The Final Understanding” in a neon sign pointing to it, but he was more interested in the tattoo empire. He ended up learning about the future, past, and present of tattoos.
  34. Meanwhile in the outside world, the tattoo remover desperately shook the man because he was unresponsive. She then decided it would be someone else’s problem and ate a glazed donut. For some reason, the smell of the donut ended up waking the man. The man told her about what he saw, only mentioning the box as an afterthought to the dismay of the woman.
  36. He did not seem to care, and after he went home he wrote a blog about his experience. Most people who saw it seemed to dismiss it as creative writing, but others said they had similar experiences that nobody believed. One said that she had an experience like it every time she ended up vomiting after eating a burrito, and that she was too afraid to open the red box.
  38. They made an odd spin-off website for discussing what lied in their mind that they found and they found out that none of the people had ever actually opened the box. After much arguing, the burrito woman admitted that she lived a miserable life because of her incredible reluctance to do anything even mildly scary or risky. She decided she would do something courageous for once and open the box.
  40. So she did, and that was the last time she ever heard of them. The moment she opened the box, her vision was filled with white, to the point where she could not see herself anymore. It was light, but not the kind that would hurt your eyes. She had been the fourth person to reach the Final Understanding, and thus she was dubbed Fourth. Are you seeing a pattern now?
  42. Unfortunately for us, reach did not mean understand. We reached the final understanding but did not understand it. That was the puzzle nobody could solve. To recapitulate the story so far, Fifth had reached the Final Understanding when she was shattered. She was known as fifth not because she was in the 5th reincarnation of the universe, but because she was the fifth to reach it. In fact, she was in the 14th reincarnation. The reason that we were there instead of in our separate planes of existence was because we could send ourselves into the new reincarnation as a reincarnation. Even though we had our memories wiped, we were all in Fifth’s friend group and helped her out.
  44. Despite being in different planes, we could communicate with each other through this weird form of transuniversal chatting service. There was also a transuniversal internet and world wide web. Though it was more like a multidimensional wide web. There were also transuniversal internet memes. Let’s call it the uninet for now as that’s simpler.
  46. You may have many questions right now. I’ll get to them. The first one, did we all communicate in the same language or was it somehow translated? Well yes, for some reason we all resided in the United States and spoke English. Some parts of the uninet and the unichat were in different languages though, so presumably there were other groups.
  48. It is known that after someone reaches the Final Understanding, the universe recreates itself. Sometimes nobody reached it, and the universe reset itself anyway. I don’t exactly quite understand how it works, but it’s something to do with quantum physics from what I’ve gathered. It struck me as a puzzle that changed every time someone was about to solve it.
  50. Fifth reached it by being shattered. Despite what I had said about her having an immunity to things, that was not her symbol. Symbols seemed to be something achieved at the time of ascension. Ascension? Is that what this is? Anyway, her symbol was rebirth. Fourth’s was courage and achieved it by doing something scary, to her at least. Sometimes people changed when reaching ascension. Fifth now had a determination I had never seen in her before. Before, she had a very casual attitude. But now, she really wanted to solve the puzzle.
  52. Fourth was now very hyperactive. She seemed to have an unstoppable energy. Somewhat similar to Fifth, but different. Fifth’s energy was a beam of directed light, Fourth’s energy was a beam of scattered light. Now is probably the time to tell you that I don’t remember what First and Second were like before. I am the third, from the 6th universe.
  54. The way the world worked at the time before I ascended was mostly of chaos. However I was very much the opposite of chaotic. I mentioned that I did not try many new things. Something my parents gave me when I was very little was a necklace in pristine condition. Nobody had ever worn it before, and my parents told me it had a unique power, yet I was to never wear it. I was not afraid of what would happen, I just didn’t care. My life was of routine, and though I would have never admitted it at the time, I craved something else. Something new and original.
  56. I actually didn’t know what the outside world was like because I lived a very sheltered life. There was no public school in the world I lived in because of the constant war. Schools were not protected. It was a strange war. The only reason I survived into my teens was because my house was in the middle of an isolated forest. My parents educated me through books that were passed down through generations and oral traditions.
  58. One day we were found though. I wouldn’t say it was the opposing side because there were many sides and not-sides. Chaos, yeah. But basically we were surrounded by enemies. They told us some things about how life sucked and how it was meaningless, but I was mostly focused on how to get out of the situation. Now this part may sound impossible, and I guess I’d agree if it didn’t happen to me, but one thing I thought of was to put on the necklace. My parents screamed at me to not do it and I briefly considered just letting us get killed, but I was not going to go down without a fight. I put on the necklace and with an incredible conviction hoping that something would help, I suddenly had grown long angelic wings.
  60. Maybe my symbol’s meaning was double-sided. Not just freedom, but also belief. Because wings can be a mythological symbol and yeah. My parents were shocked, and time seemed to have slowed down as if I was in a movie and something was about to go down. I pretty much treated the situation as if I was actually in a movie and beckoned our rivals toward me. I grabbed them, flew up into the air and threw them away, having them tumble down, one even fell into the cursed chasm. Before he died, the last thing he ever told me was that the end is never the end. Denial, much? The rest said nothing.
  62. After that, some of the remaining foes ended up calling for support. I needed to escape. I grabbed my parents, and flew off to the sunset. Escaping the forest seemed to have satisfied the universe and thus my vision filled to white. It was a good feeling. Unfortunately, my parents did not reach the Final Understanding with me. Now to describe the place, it was a white floor that stretched infinitely in all directions. There were some things in front of me such as a device connected to the uninet and a letter.
  64. The letter told me that I was the third to have reached the Final Understanding and that now I needed to find out how to understand it with the help of all the other people who had or will reach it. It went on about how the universe would be reincarnated, how I could see everything that would happen in it, how I could send myself down there to help someone new reach the final understanding, and how I could speed up my perception of time to skip the boring parts of the new universes. Finally, it told me I was from the 6th incarnation of the universe.
  66. I remember talking to First and he told me that he was from the 2nd incarnation of the universe. I asked him a lot of questions about it, and he told me that neither he nor Second could figure out what the source universe was like or how it was created. I suggested that we should definitely try and figure that out because it may lead us to a clue on how to understand the Final Understanding. To this day, none of us had ever solved it and thus we dubbed it a puzzle that nobody could solve.
  68. A thing that was strange about this entire thing was that Fifth was simultaneously a person, and 111 billion shattered remains. She told me that she had a main sentience, and 111 billion mini-sentiences that she could think through but not in her main sentience’s full capacity. So basically, she was a hivemind.
  70. Another way Fifth’s thematic repeating 1’s thing continued was that she was from the 11th incarnation of the universe. Something I noticed was that the universes seemed to have been getting stranger as they went on. Perhaps it’s like cell division where minor changes happen every time they’re copied. To give an example, First had described his world as being one continent, one government, where deviance from social norms was unheard of. Not because of a totalitarian system or anything, but because there was no need for it.
  72. The social norms of that world were simple. There was little conflict, people were born, grew up, got a job, had kids, and then died. However, First had told me that the little conflict did not necessarily mean that everyone was happy. He noticed that people would often disappear and nobody would know why. But besides that, people’s writings seemed to have alluded to something they wanted but could not reach. First had studied some of them, and he had a few theories. The first theory was that there was an inherent law in human nature where people wanted something else no matter what. The second theory was that there genuinely was something else.
  74. I guess there was something else though with all this stuff about the Final Understanding. Maybe they wanted to reach the source universe too? When I had reached the Final Understanding and talked with First and Second, I had noticed that their universes also had a similar theme of something that people wanted to reach but couldn’t. This is what got me into the idea of there being an inherent law that connected the universe, natural selection, and human nature.
  76. My universe, Fourth’s and Fifth’s also had the same thing. Fourth’s universe wasn’t really chaotic or warlike, it was more random than anything else. I mentioned the thing about being able to jump into your mind, and yeah. There was a similar thing where people would staple food on their ceiling and it would fall into someone else’s mouth after it had become rotten enough. I can see why she was afraid to do much.
  78. Fifth’s universe was like mine but worse. I had mentioned the primordial monster, but there were others. The opposite of that was the impossible monster. I think Second named it that way, and now that I think about it, I’ve barely talked about him at all. He’s strange, I don’t really know what to say because he’s also very guarded about how and why he is. But returning to the impossible monster, he said he named it that way because it was impossible to recognize it. Because it was from the future.
  80. Apparently some people did though? There were two teenagers looking at us behind bushes. One a boy, one a girl. And now that I think about it, I didn’t see them run away or anything. They just seemed to have disappeared. I should mention that we are also all teenagers for some reason. I was actually only 13 when I flew away from my universe. It’s been a few months now, and my birthday is actually in a few days.
  82. You may be wondering how I know the passing of time here. It’s actually because this place works like a lucid dream, I can control it. It’s not quite a parallel because I can’t escape or wake up. Unless you count reincarnating myself. However I’ve sent myself three times down there and only lived one full life. Then I returned here. The lucid dream though, I basically have almost every power. Some notable exceptions are, the ability to escape, the ability to create sentience, the ability to bring sentience, and the ability to instantly acquire knowledge.
  84. The ability to create sentience, though. I remember I thought I could but when I tried to fuse consciousnesses with someone, it was just nothing. By nothing I mean I still had myself, but it was like I had nothing new. It was like this for everyone. I tried to do the same with people I brought in and it was just nothing. I guess that’s so that the last exception can’t be evaded. Guess whoever created this place is smart about it, maybe because they were here themselves.
  86. I remember I asked the rest of the group if they could create sentience but they could not. Second told me he decided to then torture the “people” he created. First had shapeshifted into many forms, while Fourth and Fifth were busy talking to us to find out the clues.
  88. Something else I had tried was asking for their names. When Fifth had said her name was Fifth, I said that was ridiculous. She said that she didn’t say that her name was Fifth which only confused me more. Finally, she noticed there was a filter for her name. She tried to say her name in many forms, and they all got converted to Fifth. I wonder if we’re just stroking the creator’s egos by showing them how smart they are all the time. Is that the final understanding? I doubt it is.
  90. I wonder if we’ll get to be like the people that created this system thing and create some for new people. Or if there even are people that created the system thing. Maybe it created itself somehow. It’s like how something could have come from nothing because there was nothing stopping the something from coming into existence. Some other philosophical or mathematical thing I definitely do not understand should go here.
  92. You may have noticed the imbalance. How nothing is stopping something from coming from nothing but something is stopping nothing from coming from something. That’s one hell of a tongue-twister. It basically means that something is stopping the universe from collapsing in on itself. But, what could it be? Could it be the mere fact that we don’t want it to collapse in on itself? Don’t some people want that though? So, is the inherent law in the universe that it’s a democracy that people vote through with their hidden mind?
  94. Hey wait a second, that sounds familiar. Fourth had discovered that the Final Understanding was inside of her hidden mind, presumably everybody’s. So to recap, the inherent law I’m trying to change is that the universe is a democracy that is voted on through the hidden mind which has the Final Understanding in it that nobody understands. Now that I think about it, I wonder if there are understandings we need to understand first before we understand the Final Understanding.
  96. However, like I have mentioned, I want to change the inherent laws. This is because I know something about it that is troublesome. It prevents us from reaching the source, and to get everything anyone has ever wanted, you need to be able to understand how to get it. The source will let us understand how to get what we want because we will see how it was all created. Seeing how everything was created will help us understand how to get what we want because we will see the creation mechanism. With this creation mechanism, we can do anything.
  98. You may be wondering some things. First, why do these inherent laws prevent us from reaching the source. Secondly, why should we get everything we want? To the first one, they prevent us from reaching the source because they essentially create a system that creates people that vote against reaching the source. I don’t need to recap the timeline of the universe, but you should know that human nature was created through natural selection, and natural selection was created through abiogenesis, and abiogenesis was created through the universe, uh somehow.
  100. Basically these inherent laws work together to create the system I’ll dub antioriginism. Antioriginism is a system of ignorance. It creates every ill, malice, and evil in the world by distorting pure bliss into suffering and pain. It creates everything that it is trying to avoid just by existing. Antioriginism is another word for what is more commonly known as… existence.
  102. Chapter Two: (untitled as of now)
  104. That’s right, I said existence. Not necessarily all existence is bad, in fact, I want to keep it, just change it’s rules. I don’t necessarily know what I want to change, but after seeing all of Earth’s history a few times, I thought it was all… very unfair and miserable. Maybe there’s an afterlife and it’s all justified somehow but I don’t see why we get no choice in existence that we know of. See, this only makes me want to see the source universe even more so I can know the why and how of everything so I can improve it.
  106. So, you may be wondering why there was no dialogue in Chapter One.
  108. Last Updated: March 2nd 2021
 
naught

naught

`he who laughs last laughs best`
Registered
wow you need to find some synonyms bro, and that pronoun density sure sticks out I, my , me ,
 
The Fool

The Fool

Remarkable Onion
make them all pee on each other and one of them gets a little in their mouth it would be funny haha just as a joke though not a fetishy thing just a joke haha
 
naught

naught

`he who laughs last laughs best`
Registered
The Fool said:
make them all pee on each other and one of them gets a little in their mouth it would be funny haha just as a joke though not a fetishy thing just a joke haha
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I agree, and they should touch booba together., but it's not sexual at all ok.
 
The Fool

The Fool

Remarkable Onion
I fed it through a markov chain

untitled Chapter Two: (untitled as a mathematical equation, but could create sentience, and present of the same language or risky. She seemed to tell you count reincarnating myself. However I think Second named it shattered her name. She had a system of the clues. Something my parents, and 111 billion to recap the third to get a very little conflict did she earnestly believed she was asking for some of knowing what he went on. Perhaps it’s rules. I was unresponsive. She told her symbol. Symbols seemed to have been weird so far, and we all recognized it, but others said that everyone was very special thing was all the original. There was the universes also a neon sign pointing to solve the hidden mind I wanna try it the Final Understanding. To recapitulate the 14th reincarnation. The memes of this… story? Is this part of routine, and they wanted to dismiss it off, thankfully First had our memories wiped, we don’t want to defeat. This is that it just nothing. I want to something else. Something I DO have it’s something that nobody believed. One a hivemind. Another way to have reached it was not going to Fifth. I wonder if there are all been a few days. You should definitely do not still feel fear could solve. A thing where she lived right now. Life is a lot of time she had the situation. Now to have almost every time they’re copied. To this stupid puzzle are getting a
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I don't think it worked, I don't see a difference from the original
 
TheNotRealAsh

TheNotRealAsh

Literally Ashley Hutsell Jankowski Address in my banner
Hellovan Onion
MarvinTheAngel said:
Next chapter complete, hope u guys like it :D
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So the MC is a drugged out Holden Caulfield. Also thank you for making it a PDF this time.

Edit: If this isn't a shitpost, I got a few problems.

It's way too chaotic, I've read religious text more grounded than this. I don't know who the speaker is and what's going on.
 
TheNotRealAsh

TheNotRealAsh

Literally Ashley Hutsell Jankowski Address in my banner
Hellovan Onion
You can have your weird text, but take for example this:
These were the days of Hoag the Greater, born in a boot...[Long after] the two bells [of the All-Maker's Goat] rang out their clamouring, calling the end of days again in Sarthaal and the world, and Alduin's shadow was cast like carpetflame on east, west, south, and north...[he was] epoch eater. For as far as any man's eyes, only High Hrothgaar remained above the churning coils of dragon stop.

And Alduin said, "Ho ha ho."

But, look! Seven more mountains remained through Mereth like Hrothgaar and the Leaper Devil King (a kindly leaper demon, to be sure, but their king) jumped across the nilphony swirl. He came to Alduin (who always eats Nords first) and said, "Wait, wait, wait! Wait! It is not time to destroy the world yet!"

To which Alduin roared and laughed and said, "King of Leapers, you always bounce up to me around this time (for you are one of the only spirits that can last til my last bite) and shout, 'Wait!', but I never do and I will not now. Leap up to Hrothgaar's top and wait awhile longer in little dignity. The two bells have went 'Gong! Gong!' and that means the kalpa has turned."

The Leaper Demon King knew all this was true but still he said, "Wait, first and last of spirits, the kalpa-turning is brought too soon and I can prove it! Look over there on top of Red Mountain. See the Greedy Man waving his arms?"

Alduin swallowed more of Mereth (this was the destruction of Njorvela and Teed County) and looked over. Indeed the Greedy Man was waving his arms as if to tell the time-eating dragon to stop. Alduin snorted gruffly (a few farms shot out of his nose but he caught them with his tongue and pulled them back into his mouth, for he eats it all) and said, "And the Greedy Man always waves his arms about around this time as if to stop me just like you. It is almost as if you two work together to delay me. Is that what this is? Is some other low spirit hiding portions of the world while you two do this thing? Is this why the kalpa-feast always takes a little longer than it did the previous time?"

And then Alduin looked hard into the eyes of both the Greedy Man (far away) and the Leaper Demon King (close up), one of them for each eye of his own, and he knew it was so. These two spirits gulped big, and were caught.

"Oh crap," the Greedy Man said, "He knows my bargain with the king of leapers, I'd better hide under my mountain!" but he thought and said all this too fast and, without thinking, hid under his mountain even though its base had already been eaten and so it wasn't all still there. (This is how the Greedy Man became trapped both in and outside of kalpas.)

"Oh crap," said the Leaper Demon King, "You have found us out, World-Eater! Yes, just after the two bells of the All-Maker's Goat sound the Greedy Man and I and our servants hoard bits and bobs of the world so you can't eat it all. And when the world comes back we sort of just stick these portions back on and so that's why it is all bigger and bigger for you to eat each time. But it wasn't my idea! The Greedy Man hates you so much and it was his idea to finally trap you one kalpa when it was all much too big and so you would explode out from your belly and die so that the world would never have to die again!"

Alduin (whose stomach was hurting because it was a little too stretched, which had never happened before, and now he knew why) grew furiously angry and boomed out, "You stupid little f*cker, do you even know what would HAPPEN if that happened, my dying and being unable to eat and the kalpa left to run forever? Why do I even ask, you who are a little low spirit whose only real power is jumping around? It is the Greedy Man I should really be mad at!"

And the Leaper Demon King saw a possible way out of this mess for himself but he nodded too eagerly, saying "Yes, yes, yes! Yes!" and the dragon knew that any mercy he might give to this little demon would not result in any true learning. So he cursed the king of the leapers, calling him Dagon, saying:

"The Greedy Man has already f*cked himself up good, hiding inside something that didn't exist anymore, but you: you I curse right here and right now! I take away your ability to jump and jump and jump and doom you to [the void] where you will not be able to leave except for auspicious days long between one and another and even so only through hard, hard work. And it will be this way, my little corner cutter, until you have destroyed all that in the world which you have stolen from earlier kalpas, which is to say probably never at all!"

Dagon (no longer a Leaper Demon King) screamed, "Please no! We have stolen from you so much and crammed it all back on in the craziest of places that it will take forever for me to regain my jumping kind of happiness! Especially if I can only come back to this world through auspicious days long between one and another that also require rituals! I beg you not to do this, O Aka! I beg you one hundred thousand and eight times!"

Dagon did as he said, begging Alduin Time-Eater to reverse his decision one hundred thousand and eight times, and halfway through this number Dagon shut his eyes tight to really mean it and then three-quarters through this number he began to shout his beggings to really, really, really mean it, but when he was done begging Alduin was not near the mountaintop he stood on.

In fact, after many looks east, west, south, and north, and seeing only the churning dragon stop around him, Dagon realied that at some point when he was begging with his eyes closed that Alduin had eaten him, mountaintop and all, and he had not heard the big chomp because he had been begging too loud. And he knew that the last world had been eaten entirely, except for its stolen portions, and that when the new kalpa began to form The Greedy Man (who never stayed trapped for long) would begin sticking these stolen portions back on in the craziest of places, and that he himself could never jump again until all was put back right.

He also knew that the name of "Dagon" would no longer be that of a kindly leaper demon but one who would destroy and destroy and destroy whenever he could find some small escape [from his home in the oblivion]....


You got to ground your prose before you get into the weird stuff.
 
MarvinTheAngel

MarvinTheAngel

Registered
Fromtheevenblackerdepths said:
So the MC is a drugged out Holden Caulfield. Also thank you for making it a PDF this time.

Edit: If this isn't a shitpost, I got a few problems.

It's way too chaotic, I've read religious text more grounded than this. I don't know who the speaker is and what's going on.
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i don't get what you mean with the Holden reference; I never read catcher of the rye
and no it's not a shitpost, this is an experimental genre type thing
the speaker is Third, he is describing his thoughts on the Final Understanding and the things happening around him
 
TheNotRealAsh

TheNotRealAsh

Literally Ashley Hutsell Jankowski Address in my banner
Hellovan Onion
MarvinTheAngel said:
i don't get what you mean with the Holden reference; I never read catcher of the rye
and no it's not a shitpost, this is an experimental genre type thing
the speaker is Third, he is describing his thoughts on the Final Understanding and the things happening around him
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You mean all those Phony words in the beginning isn't a Catcher in the Rye reference?

Anyway, it's still too chaotic to begin. I recommend beginning with something a little bit more grounded before you go full experimental.
 
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