United States AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CEEEEENA

[JackJack is verified member.]

(Pretty much the first 10 seconds of this video is the only part that matters, but this was the only footage I could find of it on YouTube)

Hey, @Crimson Fucker check this dipshit getting the back of his head speared onto the concrete.

LOL. CTE, even.

 

[Crimson Fucker]

Could have been worse. Like something rakishi would do.

 

[JackJack is verified member.]

Could have been worse. Like something rakishi would do.
View attachment 92502

I was trying to think of a video to respond to this with, and I stumbled upon what I think could be the greatest video on YouTube of all time:

 

[Crimson Fucker]

I was trying to think of a video to respond to this with, and I stumbled upon what I think could be the greatest video on YouTube of all time:

The surprised Pikachu face really made the video even funnier than it would have been if he were knocked out cold and went to sleep.

 

[JackJack is verified member.]

Let me unpack my previous video, because I feel like if I explain all of the key parts to you, you'll find it even funnier.

Part 1: the setup.

Wetback (featuring horse) are on the video. You start out like "there's nothing funny about this" except for maybe the annoying "raaAAAH eeeeyyyAAAA YEEEAaaaaa" music going on in the background.

Suddenly, a second, much more drunk and much more careless wetback manifests behind the horse, clapping like an asshole and slapping the horse's legs.

At this point we're already halfway through an 18 second long video, so you're probably saying to yourself "there's no way this video could be possibly funny. At best it's going to end with the horse kicking this guy"

Part 2: the payoff.

The actual execution of the horse kick is by far what most horse kick historians can agree on, myself included... This is the FUCKING GREATEST horse kick that was ever captured on film. And here's why.

If you notice right before dipshit gets kicked, the horses back legs do a tiny preemptive jump because the horse is scouting this guy and measuring exactly where he'll have to position his hoof to leave a fucking horseshoe imprint under this drunk asshole's chin.

And the horse delivers. He expertly executes the fabled "no look kick" so hard that the guys hat flies 10 feet into the air and his soul turns in its resignation before his body even hits the pavement.

Part 3: the epilogue.

Now the fully drunk and half unconscious idiot sits on the pavement, knees up and confused like all the girls in high school that sat there with come on their tummies, while they waited for you to get a towel or a T-shirt to wipe it up. Finally the idiot gets up, and walks off humiliated and defeated.

But with two seconds left, THE CAMERAMAN STILL DELIVERS. In a cinematography choice that would rival Kubrick or Scorsese, instead of panning along with the man, he decides to linger on the hat that the idiot forgets to pick up.

A fucking master class of cinema in a mere 17 seconds. Glorious.

 

[Crimson Fucker]

Let me unpack my previous video, because I feel like if I explain all of the key parts to you, you'll find it even funnier.

Part 1: the setup.

Wetback (featuring horse) are on the video. You start out like "there's nothing funny about this" except for maybe the annoying "raaAAAH eeeeyyyAAAA YEEEAaaaaa" music going on in the background.

Suddenly, a second, much more drunk and much more careless wetback manifests behind the horse, clapping like an asshole and slapping the horse's legs.

At this point we're already halfway through an 18 second long video, so you're probably saying to yourself "there's no way this video could be possibly funny. At best it's going to end with the horse kicking this guy"

Part 2: the payoff.

The actual execution of the horse kick is by far what most horse kick historians can agree on, myself included... This is the FUCKING GREATEST horse kick that was ever captured on film. And here's why.

If you notice right before dipshit gets kicked, the horses back legs do a tiny preemptive jump because the horse is scouting this guy and measuring exactly where he'll have to position his hoof to leave a fucking horseshoe imprint under this drunk asshole's chin.

And the horse delivers. He expertly executes the fabled "no look kick" so hard that the guys hat flies 10 feet into the air and his soul turns in its resignation before his body even hits the pavement.

Part 3: the epilogue.

Now the fully drunk and half unconscious idiot sits on the pavement, knees up and confused like all the girls in high school that sat there with come on their tummies, while they waited for you to get a towel or a T-shirt to wipe it up. Finally the idiot gets up, and walks off humiliated and defeated.

But with two seconds left, THE CAMERAMAN STILL DELIVERS. In a cinematography choice that would rival Kubrick or Scorsese, instead of panning along with the man, he decides to linger on the hat that the idiot forgets to pick up.

A fucking master class of cinema in a mere 17 seconds. Glorious.

I actually fucking love watching horse math calculations as they position themselves in the best place for kicking someone's head off. Whenever you see them back up towards something while slightly adjusting themselves you know they're about to let that something have it. Sometimes people that annoy them and sometimes other horses. They always know where their feet are and how their legs will move. Even without looking.

 

[JackJack is verified member.]

I actually fucking love watching horse math calculations as they position themselves in the best place for kicking someone's head off. Whenever you see them back up towards something while slightly adjusting themselves you know they're about to let that something have it. Sometimes people that annoy them and sometimes other horses. They always know where their feet are and how their legs will move. Even without looking.

Wetback: (clapping and slapping the horse)
: Alright motherfucker.... (Horse calculations)

 

[Crimson Fucker]

horse math calculations

Wetback: (clapping and slapping the horse)
: Alright motherfucker.... (Horse calculations)

 

[Crimson Fucker]

Bronies when they see a horse vs horses when they encounter a brony

 

[Crimson Fucker]

Also it looks like he followed the horse again after getting kicked since he went the same direction.