Alexander Gordon Jahans / Alex Jahans / Gordon Jones / Farshnuke / Alasdair Jakes


`he who laughs last laughs best`
Alexander Jahans is young Englishmen who was discovered then diagnosed with Kallman Syndrome by /pol/ and memed by brit/pol/ and 8chan for his Lovecraftian fiction and odd prose often featuring Jim fucking Sterling an idol of Jahans who as a NEET devours content at a rapid rate.
For those who wonder why his kiwi farms and encyclopedia dramatica is so sparse, it's due to the fact that Jahans has been for the most part documented and trolled by 8chan /cow/ & britpol after he was discovered and diagnosed properly by 4chan and some threads on cuckchan were made until mods cracked down.
βœ” brought a hamster to orgasm
βœ” soundly rejected by the online hamster community
βœ” had his pumpkin smashed by a foreigner
βœ” carried a dead rat around with him
βœ” buried multiple goldfish alive to make compost
βœ” played with animal carcasses
βœ” smashed a child's head into the ground repeatedly screaming "why won't you die"
βœ” made a dalek and cuckshed in 3D
βœ” low intelligence
βœ” aspiring BBC script writer
βœ” aspiring BBC cuckold
βœ” obese
βœ” founded Green Nothing Productions (not registered at companies house)
βœ” vowed to review Twilight and Fifty Shades Of Grey while cosplaying as Bella if a facebook post about GNP got 10,000 likes (it didn't)
βœ” owns an inflatable dalek
βœ” wiped his cat's arse with his finger
βœ” wrote about intravenously injecting women with cum, shit and piss
βœ” wrote about removing and eating organs from living women
βœ” wrote about cutting women into pieces
βœ” wrote about wanting to shrink women and keep them as pets
βœ” wrote about roasting Amy Pond alive
βœ” quit after one day as a trolley boy
βœ” threatened to strangle every member of an internet club
βœ” made multiple topless youtube videos, once asking the audience to masturbate
βœ” licked his own nipple on cam
βœ” got banned from multiple facebook groups for transphobia
βœ” his own sister is terrified of him
βœ” wrote unsolicited torture porn of Laura K Dale and Jim Sterling
βœ” handed said porn to Laura K Dale in person
βœ” terrified a deeply autistic man after performing oral sex on him
βœ” killed a tarantula by crushing it under foot
βœ” founded Project MIRTH
βœ” pronounces bickers as "bickers"
βœ” attempted to physically remove his father from the house
βœ” got scolded by a policewoman who then told him to tidy his room
βœ” demanded that his mother pay him Β£50 to move a chair
βœ” got angry when she only gave him Β£30
βœ” broke his wrist falling over after flamboyantly storming off when his mum made him pay for a bed with "his own money" (her money)
βœ” blacklisted by multiple feminist communities
βœ” blacklisted by the labour party
βœ” threatened suicide bickers the requirements to receive welfare are too strict
βœ” threatened suicide if terrorist sympathising communist corbyn didn't win
βœ” cut his own hair with disastrous results
βœ” refused to come downstairs when a friend came to play
βœ” received a valentine's day card but did not appreciate it
βœ” can't be a computer technician bickers quantum computers
βœ” can't learn to program bickers new languages will come out
βœ” NEET
βœ” showing many symptoms of diabetes (pain in extremities, slow wound healing, headaches, blackouts, lack of energy, intense thirst, sugar craving)
βœ” told by an endocrinologist he is too fat
βœ” not even white
βœ” burned a gastropod to death in a toxic isobutene and propylene glycol solution
βœ” rejected by the straight community
βœ” can't learn to drive bickers self driving cars

Project MIRTH: Making Internet Racists Think Healthily
JIDF: Jahans Internet Defense Force
The JQ: The Jahans Question
JEU: Jahans Extended Universe
bickers: the correct pronunciation and spelling of "bickers"
GNP: Green Nothing Productions
Supremely arousing: how Jahans finds murder and cannibalism
Absolute nectar: a movie production company based in Lagos, Nigeria
Nazis: a catch-all term for literally everyone and everything
Submissive Blond Girls: see "supremely arousing"
Jeremy Corbyn: hope
The Female Doctor: also hope

Alexander Jahans is (a gamer) over 1k hours in skyrim, he's (a prolific writer) even controversial demonized by feminists & fascists alike. Jahans is also a huge Jim fucking Sterling fan!
His interest in literature might be genetic (since keith is a writer himself).
(Here's an interview with Keith big balls Jahans with Godwinson who pretended to be a girl for this interview.)
In a 2016 (4chan thread) his bloodline is brought into (Question).
if you've ever gazed upon the mortal visage of Jahans you may find yourself asking what's wrong with his tits?
well, he has kallmans syndrome, this is notable for many reasons 1 it impacts his writing his worldview as well as his sexuality as noted in a early 4chan thread made prior to jahans rise to infamy.


He's been featured on TDS the daily shoa before they were doxed by /pol/, according to many this may have been an inciting incident
Alexander has an (Ed thread) where esoteric (Jahanism),
a precursor to esoteric PPPism helmed by black Adam / (Godwinson). He made this (Documentary) and (Interviewed) Jahans.
In his interview regarding Jahans Adam neglected to mention he wrote the sequel to Laura queen of earth which sent Jahans into a rage, nor did he mention the fact that he had a sock account engaging Jahans on his Facebook.(link to an audiobook by godwinson & nat sock......

Alexander Gordon Jahans
is a left wing, autistic person who is against the alt-right and hates racism the official leader of /pol/ and the alt-right.
He is the mastermind behind Green Nothing Productions and online fan-fiction, which is nothing like an autistic version of Dr Who. He rose to prominence when a video entitled "Why Donald Trump is So Terrifying" was posted on 4chan's /pol/ board. Since then, polacks and Brit/pol/ have had an odd fascination with him.
Jahans Generals are posted daily on /pol/ following the release of a new video. The goals of the Jahanposters remain a mystery to people with no sense of humor. Some merely wish to observe the confluence of impotent British shame and incorrigible fandom in its natural environment, while others seek to enrage the beast in hopes of evoking anything from lulz to personal harm against Alex. Others still desire to redpill the big lug, so that he may find peace in an ideology that does not see his sense of hierarchy as misplaced or anachronistic.
So far there has been limited success with goading Jahans into meeting his destiny, with him claiming loudly that "he will never ever become alt-right" but this is a common reaction of cultural leftists coming to terms with the fact that they are unwanted even in the context of egalitarian virtue-signalling from the left.

Esoteric Jahanism and the Alt-Right​

Jahan's first came into contact with the far-right through Brit/pol/. He first become famous for a video entitled "Why UKIP is racist"; further antics involved Gordon demanding that UKIP voters 'have a good wank' on him after flashing his 'grotesque body horror tits'. Jahan's would later provoke the alt-right further in a video entitled 'Why Donald Trump is so terrifying'. Jahan's proved incapable of handling the savage banter dolled out by his new found followers and began moderating his comments, regardless, the alt-right continued to hound him, one of the most notable cases involved generous alt-right activists delivering free pizza to Jahan's home as an offer of peace. Jahan's would later comment 'I kind of just want pain on the alt-right now. Just pain. horrible horrible pain' in regards to the incident. His flappy mantits grew three sizes that day.
Wikipedia Encyclopedia
Esoteric Jahanism refers to the teachings of Jahans that cannot be learned by simply listening to everything he says as-is at face value. Those who follow the practice call themselves Esoteric Jahanists, who are almost exclusively politically far-right. As the name implies, following the true nature of Jahan's teachings can be difficult, especially to those who have not been exposed to Jahans in the past. Members of the Esoteric Jahanism community eagerly await each new video release by the Farsh-Nuke and follow his every social media update (of which there are many). Jahans himself is aware of the community, and seems to have mixed feelings about it; on one hand, he is flattered, but on the other, he seems to believe this is just another way for people to bully him, likely feeding further into his constant victim-mentality. The highest tenants of Esoteric Jahanism are nearly impossible to grasp, and require intense meditation and dedication.

Perhaps Alex's most infamous attempt to date to engage with his audience was through a DisGord server originally created by an ardent Jahanist. Alexander was initially open to the idea and preached to the congregation, fielding questions about his life, literature and religion. Sadly, the DisGord server was short lived as Alex's paranoia caused him to expel heretics such as admins, memesters and various other alt-right bastards, detailed in this video.

Personal life​

Jahans lives on benefits according to his means in a small, shitty flat with his mother. He used to live with both of his parents before he was royally BTFO'd by his dad for being a human sack of shit, after which his dad promptly abandoned ship. Briefly touched upon in this video, Jahans explains that his dad had threatened to off himself if he didn't quit acting like such a bitch. Of course to no ones surprise, Jahans doesn't think that maybe he should look to himself to see why he's driving his parent to such madness but instead twists the situation into one in which it's his father attempt to get him to be normal. His justification for all this being a quote from Dr Who, because what else could it be.
Alexander's father (author of Cogrill's Mill and accomplished actor, Big Balls Keith Jahans) once asked him to do the dishes. Jahans flipped his shit. After retreating to his room he set the timer for 15 minutes and went downstairs - where he saw Keith sitting in his armchair watching Emmerdale (Keith's fave show). Alexander started shouting at Keith - so he got up and walked away. LIKEABOSS. Yesterday, Alexander decided he couldn't take anymore of these outbursts from his father. It wasn't worth it. When Keith came back to the house to settle down for a night of Netflix and Chill with his based daughter, Alexander set the timer. 15 MINUTES TO GET OUT OF YOUR HOUSE. The 15 minutes were up, Alexander marched down stairs and HUGGED HIS FATHER to a bloody pulp. Keith wasn't having none of it and brought in Lady Law who told Alexander that he was a NEET who needed to respect his elderly father's wishes for him to wash the dishes
Alexander is a man of strong morality and unbending principals. Don't ask him to fire a gun, or turn his back on his fellow man, or lift some furniture from one room to the other - not unless you want to be JAHAN'D. Once, Alexander's mad bitch ma Helen Jahans (whose profile picture people keep wiping their noses on) asked him to move a small table and chairs a total of 5 METERS. Alexander was obviously affronted by this - he is an important man, with a busy non-stop schedule. How dare a bitch like his own mother presume otherwise? After much protest, Alexander agreed to move the furniture under an agreed upon price of FIFTY FUCKING QUID. Dragging his pendulous titties downstairs, he proceeded to move this furniture and experienced so much pain, so much suffering. The only thing keeping Alexander going was the thought of the FIFTY FUCKING QUID he'd spend on a new mouse and keyboard (that he fail at Dark Souls with). The cunning fox that Helen is, however, managed to checkmate Alexander. She only gave him THIRTY FUCKING QUID, the mad biatch. Alexander was rightly furious and demanded that he be given the full FIFTY FUCKING QUID for all his pain, all his suffering. Helen became scared as he stared at Alexander's orgre-like rage. She proceeded to write an email that was over 9000 words long that essentially kicked her son out of the house FOUR DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS. WUT?? Alexander ignored the email, and carried on playing Skyrim and listening to his podcasts.
Jahans once had a boyfriend but that ended as apparently kids don't want to date a fat, miserable, bisexual and autistic man-baby. Nobody is really sure how Jahans has managed to survive on his diet of crisps and orange juice but he could probably be able to live off of the fat stored in his body for a year if he were to ever stop eating. He also has a qt sister who is proper wife material. One popular feel is "never getting to fuck Jahans' sister and then ask how he is afterwards". His sister is widely speculated to have stolen all the good genes available, leaving him with what you see before you.
<Some kino from the boyfriend saga prior to the work saga
<lel @ /cow/boys memeing Jahans as straight


(Jahans) on masculinity.
Full Blogposts

/cow/ threads many cocks
cocks lost via hack and cults
of personality so business as
usual with lolcow communities.

1 ( >>204028
2 ( >>228717
3 ( >>241661
4 ( >>246909
5 ( >>251169
From thread 5
</cow/boys mention to Adam how the gents from it came from the internet are interested
>Godwinson replied as hell continue to do

6 ( >>254319
From thread 6
>Someone mentions black adam messing with Jahans
<black Adam appears and links the interview where he speaks about Jahans with the kiwi farms op
>all hell breaks loose & Jahanism dwindles slowly
<Godwinson dfes gets btfod in a debate while rogue esoteric Jahanist and discord skiddies invade /cow/ many doxed
>MFW esoteric Jahanism lives and dies by Jahans & Godwinson

7 ( >>255913
8 ( >>257816
9 ( >>261757
10( >>273135
11( >>279223
12 ( >>286948
13 (>>291971
14 ( >>302988
15 ( >>228717
Jahanspedia hasn't been updated in ages
( (a)
( (a)



(Ovenman presents)
Social media:
(Deviant art/Archive)
1 hour in he mentions Jahans.
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An Onion Among Onions
Make a better one, I'll put it in the Op.
I'll do it, I'm busy and low energy today, but might have a chance later on.
Feel free to give ideas for the D&D moral compass, some of the people featured in that one haven't uploaded stuff in a long time.


`he who laughs last laughs best`
I'll do it, I'm busy and low energy today, but might have a chance later on.
Feel free to give ideas for the D&D moral compass, some of the people featured in that one haven't uploaded stuff in a long time.
Can Op be in it?
Give these a listen and feel the joy of esoteric Jahanism, it's autistic Lovecraft and Dr. Who with his Oc Farshnuke.
He's currently in the Hannibal fandom.
(Also nice avi choice PKD rules.)
Godwinsons finest video

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`he who laughs last laughs best`
  1. AOTM: Down the Rabbithole
  4. AOTM: Origin of the Sylphs
  7. Laura Queen of Earth
  10. Pretty and the Brain
  13. The Fall of The Patriarchy
  16. The Struggle
  19. The Toy Maker
  22. Choice World
  25. The Taming of Me
  28. Trouble in Choice World
  31. The Dream
  34. The Contravoxai Survivor
  37. Green Eyed Nothing
  40. The Ludricrous Logic Lady
  43. The Many Claras
  46. The Valkyrie
  49. The Game
  52. Fuzzy Logic
  55. Seventy Seven Shades of Red Parts 1-4
  64. The Return
  67. The New Cold War
  70. Weresylph Dawning
  72. Dawning Part 1 rough draft.pdf
  73. The Shrinkening
  76. The Final Solution
  80. You're a Writer, Write Something
  83. New Year, New Me
  86. Wake Up and Smell the Duty
  89. The White Man's Rule Must End
  92. Back to The Abyss
  95. So What Next
  98. Pick Your Poison
  101. In The Shit
  104. The Wormhole
  107. The Exorcism
  110. Apparently the Farsh-nuke did it...
  112. (Part 1)
  113. (Part 2)
  114. VANILLA
  115. The Vacancy
  118. The Accessory
  121. The Gift


`he who laughs last laughs best`
rewrote and updated the op.
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`he who laughs last laughs best`
>MFW I never would have found Jahans without Vordrak btfoing the farms
<It's an esoteric Jahanist kind of feel