United States Florida-man thread

[The Crimson Fucker]

My last thread made me think to do this.

ITT: we post new and old Florida man news.

I'll start with these.

Florida man arrested after trying to cross Atlantic in 'human-powered hamster wheel'

It isn't the first time Reza Baluchi has tried to get across the ocean in a human-powered object.

www.nbcnews.com

'I'm gonna keep calling 911 back!' Florida man charged for repeatedly calling emergency services: Deputies

A 56-year-old Florida man was arrested for calling 911 multiple times over two days, according to Marion County deputies.

news.yahoo.com

Florida man arrested after beating moviegoer over seats in viral video, deputies say

A Florida man accused of beating a fellow moviegoer over their movie theater seats was arrested Thursday.

www.wfla.com

Florida man survives flesh-eating bacteria from human bite

“I would’ve never imagined that a human bite would turn into something so horrific as a flesh-eating bacteria."

www.wesh.com

Pantsless Florida man, 71, caught spying on neighbor through her bathroom window

Bodycam footage showed the moment officers pounced on the accused pervert, whose genitals were completely exposed.

nypost.com

Rabid otter attacks Florida man, bites him 41 times

He said he tried to back away, but the otter pounced and he tripped. Scaglione was bitten on his legs, hands, and arms 41 times.

www.wesh.com

Florida chemistry student caught on camera injecting opioid ‘chemical agent’ under neighbor’s door

“I look at my daughter. Her eyes were full of tears. She was not crying, but her eyes were full of tears,” Abdullah said.

nypost.com

 

[The Crimson Fucker]

Florida man who lost arm in an alligator attack: 'It's not the end of the world'

Jordan Rivera fell into a pond behind Banditos Bar in Port Charlotte and said the next thing he remembers is waking up in a hospital: "I looked over and I saw my arm the way it was and I was like, ‘Whoa.'"

www.nbcnews.com

 

[The Crimson Fucker]

Florida man sentenced after viral video shows him beating shark to death

A Melbourne man was sentenced to no jail time after he was accused of brutally beating a shark with a hammer to death in 2022.

nbc-2.com

He wanted it to be a hammer head.

 

[The Crimson Fucker]

I'll give his landing a 6.9.

Skydiver Found Dead in Florida Man’s Front Yard

“I was asking the person that was laying on the ground, ‘Hey man, can you hear me, can you hear me?’”

www.thedailybeast.com

 

[The Crimson Fucker]

Florida man arrested for dumping over 10,000 lbs. of trash on side of road

cbs12.com

Florida man arrested for dumping over 10,000 lbs. of trash on side of road

 

[The Crimson Fucker]

Florida man sees woman's torso in alligator's mouth

An alligator suspected of eating a person has been caught and killed in Florida.

www.wral.com

 

[The Crimson Fucker]

Florida man, sons sentenced to years in prison after being convicted of selling bleach as fake COVID-19 cure

A federal judge in Miami sentenced Mark Grenon and his three sons to prison Friday after a jury found them guilty during the summer.

www.cbsnews.com

 

[The Crimson Fucker]

Florida Man Allegedly Kills His Parents, Floods Their Home, Then Kills Himself

Concerned neighbors in Tampa called the cops after seeing water pour out of the home’s garage and front door all weekend.

www.thedailybeast.com

Because setting it on fire would be too cliche.

 

[The Crimson Fucker]

https://www.cnn.com/2023/10/14/us/florida-alcohol-distributor-robbery/index.html

 

[The Crimson Fucker]

Florida GameStop clerk fatally shot man stealing Pokemon cards, police say

The employee has been arrested on a manslaughter charge.

www.tampabay.com

 

[The Crimson Fucker]

Arrest made in Halloween weekend's fatal shooting of 2 in Tampa; 18 more victims injured

Police in Florida say they've arrested a suspect in the mass shooting on a Tampa street overnight. Two people were killed and 18 injured after a fight erupted between two groups.

apnews.com

 

[The Crimson Fucker]

https://www.reuters.com/world/americas/cuba-thwarts-terrorist-plot-by-s-florida-man-who-arrived-by-jetski-state-run-2023-12-10/

Florida man dies after golf cart hits tree, ejecting him into nearby pond: Officials

A 74-year-old Brooksville, Florida man was driving a golf cart when he suffered a medical emergency. He hit a tree and was ejected into a pond.

www.usatoday.com

Drunk tourist sexually molests manatee statue at Florida restaurant after being asked to leave, deputies say

When staff confronted him, he “became belligerent” and “sexually molested” a manatee statue in the presence of staff and other patrons, the affidavit said.

www.fox35orlando.com

https://www.outkick.com/drunk-florida-man-sets-his-shoe-on-fire-for-warmth-then-proceeds-to-pass-out-in-front-of-an-office-building/https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2023/12/11/talk-about-retail-theft-florida-man-checks-out-of-walmart-with-cash-register-deputies-say/

 

[Chemo]

Fun thread.
Consider only posting archived versions of the pages you're linking since news sites are completely reliant on advertising revenue.
Also, 12 Foot ladder is handy for dealing with many paywalls.

12ft

 

[A.Non]

Fun thread.
Consider only posting archived versions of the pages you're linking since news sites are completely reliant on advertising revenue.
Also, 12 Foot ladder is handy for dealing with many paywalls.

12ft

It's pretty messed up sometimes just which articles get put behind paywalls.

 

[The Crimson Fucker]

I don't even read mose of these articles just the headlines that look interesting. Which makes it suck even more when embeds don't work.

 

[The Crimson Fucker]

Florida man gets leprosy.

New Leprosy Case in Florida Sparks Concern over Endemicity

New Leprosy Case in Florida Sparks Concern over Endemicity - Express Healthcare Management

www.expresshealthcaremgmt.com

Leprosy Is on The Rise in Florida, Scientists Report

A 54-year-old Florida man diagnosed with leprosy in a case report published this year added to a growing number of cases detected in the south-eastern United States in recent times, which appears to be a new hotspot for the disease.

www.sciencealert.com

 

[The Crimson Fucker]

Florida man sues Dunkin Donuts after a toilet exploded leaving him injured and covered in human waste.

Florida Man Sues Dunkin Donuts After Exploding Toilet Left Him Covered In Human Waste

A customer at a Dunkin' Donuts outlet in Florida, US, has filed a negligence lawsuit against the coffee chain, claiming that he was injured by an exploding toilet at the eatery.

www.ndtv.com

 

[Busty O'Queef]

Florida man sues Dunkin Donuts after a toilet exploded leaving him injured and covered in human waste.

Florida Man Sues Dunkin Donuts After Exploding Toilet Left Him Covered In Human Waste

A customer at a Dunkin' Donuts outlet in Florida, US, has filed a negligence lawsuit against the coffee chain, claiming that he was injured by an exploding toilet at the eatery.

www.ndtv.com

He's only looking for 50k, which seems reasonable: is he definately Florida Man?

 

[The Crimson Fucker]

Here is an article with more info I think.

Fast-food customer sues Dunkin’ Donuts over ‘traumatic’ toilet explosion

He’ll skip the chocolate glaze.

nypost.com

>Loss of the capacity for enjoyment of life

I probably shouldn't be laughing but I am.

 

[Busty O'Queef]

I think surviving an exploding toilet would encourage him to enjoy life more! Maybe he should be paying Dunkin Donuts?