I've been taking some time to myself - there's many things going on, things that I need to take one step at a time so that I don't completely burn myself out to a point of no return. I had thoughts again where I nearly wanted to submit myself into a psychiatric ward, though I'm always able to calm myself down before making the call. I honestly need to work towards getting medications to help myself, something that I've tried in the past and it did help me - regardless of those who try to claim that medications make things worse off, that goes by the individual. I want to take care of myself, to care about my flesh, my hair, my teeth, my nails - I don't want to abandon myself, though how do I organize my thoughts when none of it is linear, even "organized" my thoughts would be a puzzle with pieces that can't fit amongst one another, like they're all pieces from different puzzle boards that were never meant to be pieced together.
