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Persephone van der Waard/Nicholas Jay van der Waard/InnkeeperX/spazer86/Chozogirl86/Revana - porn addicted coomer troon sexually harassing Youtuber BadEmpanada, doxxing his ex "Jadis" & posting revenge porn
Warning: due to the nature of this topic almost every link in this OP does off-site to a NSFW 18+ website. Proceed with caution and use a VPN.
Warning: due to the nature of this topic almost every link in this OP does off-site to a NSFW 18+ website. Proceed with caution and use a VPN.
"But you know/I've been working on a plan/To save us all"
"Narcissists, as we shall see, communicate through masks and mirrors to disorient and confuse their prey while looking at them: a mirror dance/doll's game that plays out as the stoat hypnotizes a rabbit before biting its neck. Seeing isn't believing insofar as you very quickly begin to doubt what you're looking at as both concrete and insubstantial. By extension, the mirror hall/dollhouse is one that abused parties generally find themselves in, offering up empheral clues to how fucked they are; i.e., after it's too late. To that, predator and prey alike use camouflage, but predators also build traps to fool and confuse their prey with, which the latter must try to escape during asymmetrical warfare (more on this per my trauma, in part two of this subchapter). The only way out is through the maze." - Persephone van der Waard
Book Sample: Meeting Jadis, part two - van der Waard Art.com
A blog post from "Searching for Secrets" (2024), the promotion for the Undead Module of my Sex Positivity book series.vanderwaardart.com
Summary: Youtube troon Persephone van der Waard (born Nicholas Jay van der Waard) is a 39 year old mentally deranged American of Dutch/Russian ethnic origins currently (purportedly) living in the US in the State of Michigan and the State of Florida. Van der Waard is a sex addict and a malignant narcissist going through neverending cycles of idealization/devaluing of anyone he sets his sights on, not limited to any NPD hoe on Fetlife dumb enough to start a sexual relationship with him. When he's not idealizing/devaluing the women in his life, he's doing it to the content creators on Youtube he obsesses over and tries to tone-police. Most recently he has targeted the communist Youtuber BadEmpanada and the Youtube Atheism+ feminist Rebecca Watson. Van der Waard spends his days and his welfare check trying to bait whores on Bsky and OnlyFans into shooting a series for him for a paltry $40. He pays these OnlyFans "models" a mere $4 per picture and thinks this is a such great offer that no one can possibly resist. He then dumps the pictures he commissioned onto his personal website, where runs them through a basic colour filter and then slaps his own name and logo onto other people's pictures. He claims this is him making "art" out of the pictures for some "Sex Positivity" book project he's working on, so now the pictures his to do as pleases and to post wherever he wants, get it. Any model that refuses to go along with this horribly bad deal is put on blast on Van der Waard's website. The rest of his website is full of revenge porn of his ex girlfriend "Jadis/Jack", a woman he met on Fetlife and moved in with after a mere 5 weeks of sexting. Van der Waard claims, while presenting no evidence, that Jadis has raped, an accusation he repeats multiple times over many rants on his website. He claims that Jadis consents to him doxxing her, posting revenge porn of her and accusing her of rape because she refuses to contact him. Most likely Jadis realized that Van der Waard is dangerously crazy and doesn't want to go through the legal hassle of trying to get him to remove the revenge porn from his website, which is just endless and embedded all over the place. Van der Waard will post an essay on some topic, say a movie or a Youtube video he watched, but all of a sudden he will pivot to rambling on about how he was raped by Jadis or some other woman he had a falling out with, and then he will cap this rant by embedding a dozen pictures of them fucking into the essay. It's like he has to use any and every opportunity to shove his disgusting sexlife into people's faces, irrespective of the topic on hand, and is using his essays as mere bait to do so. Lacking any evidence of actual consent, there is no reason to believe that the private pictures on Van der Waard's personal website of all women he used to date are anything other than revenge porn used to retaliate against these women who no longer want to be associated with him, including the model who refused to take him up on paltry offer and shoot a series for him to claim as his own. Van der Waard is so delusional and insane, he has given himself an imaginary "independent PhD" because he couldn't get a real one. His website is filled with incomprehensible, rambling essays on various topics and people, large swaths of text that have massive amounts of explicit pornography embedded into them, either of Van der Waard and his exes having sex, or of the models he baited into a bad deal with his $40 offer, or of what looks like stolen content that he just cross-posted on his own website with no permission. Van der Waard claims to be a sex worker and an advocate for sex workers, when he's just an online porn addict and the online equivalent of an agoraphilic exhibitionist, who tries to bait hapless content creators and their audiences into seeing his porn under the guise of having written seemingly academic articles about them. No one ever interacts with any of his online content because they can quickly tell he's an attention seeking narcissist doing the online equivalent of mooning at people to force them to see his junk.
PERSEPHONE VAN DER WAARD VERSUS BADEMPANADA: How I discovered Van der Waard's website through his sexual harassment campaing against the communist Youtuber BadEmpanada
Suppose you're a malignant sex pest of a troon on Youtube, desperately trying to become a big BreadTuber, but everyone is just ignoring you because they can make neither heads nor tails of your online ramblings. You are in a love/hate parasocial relationship with another, bigger lefty Youtuber, but the Youtuber is ignoring you because even he, while politely using your preferred pronouns, can tell you're a crazy sex pest and not a serious content creator they want to be associated with. You can tell that this bigger Youtuber you're parasocially obsessed with doesn't really like troons, he's only polite towards them because he's a leftist and is worried about being cancelled if he admits he hates troons. This realization arouses your narcissistic rage and makes you want to flash your disgusting troon body at the Youtuber just to upset him, because you're juvenile and immature, and flashing your gurldique at hapless people is your online equivalent of "mooning". But first, you have to trick the Youtuber into unwittingly clicking on your picture. Better yet, get a crowd of naked people online to all flash their bodies at him, so you can appear to hide behind a crowd. How do you Rickroll the Youtuber into clicking on your link and unwittingly get subjected to your exhibitionism? You pretend to have written a Destiny-like longass manifesto about the Youtuber, but the manifesto is peppered throughout with spice and corn of yourself and other troons and online whores on Bsky. Lefty Youtubers are constantly writing and reading manifestos about one another, so that'll surely get clicks. That the written part of manifesto itself is completely nonsensical and unreadable doesn't really matter, because the purpose is not to make an actually point, it's to sexually harass the Youtuber by showing them something they never wanted to see. You post the link to the porn-harbouring manifesto all over your socials the internet. You also send the Destiny-like manifesto to dozens of other unwitting Youtubers, to get them to click on it or share it (they ignore it cos they too can tell you're a crazy sex pest, they're just too polite to tell you so to your face, because many of them are troons and are exactly the same way in private).
Eventually the Youtuber learns about your manifesto. He clicks on the link, as was your intent all along, and is unwittingly subjected to your corn and spice. He has no idea who any of these other naked people are, whose pictures are peppered throughout your essay. This amounts to sexual harassment, but you don't care because you are a troon so you think you're entitled to sexually harass others and expose yourself to them in the name of "trans rights".
The Youtuber tries to read the manifesto but quickly realizes these are the ramblings of a mad man. The Youtuber makes a video about your sexual harassment of him. He looks visibly upset throughout the video, describing how you effectively "Goatse"-d him - referring to a form of Rickrolling online from the early days on the internet, where people would get someone to click on a link that went to a website of someone spreading his asshole. "You can denounce BadEmpanada without showing everyone your cock. I don't wanna look at them anyway."
Porn Addict CANCELS ME With 150 Page Essay
You DARVO about your sexual harassment of this Youtuber and insist that the Youtuber has "raped" you, just because he made an ironic joke about how sex pests on the left who make their sexual identity their whole personality instead of doing any actual political work should be sent to the salt mines (he's right BTW).
Then I come along, and then we go down the rabit hole to learn the story of Persephone van der Waard.
Nicholas Jay van der Waard: Dutch origins
Persephone van der Waard was born as Nicholas Jay van der Waard in 1986:
And BTW, I am not doxxing him by posting his deadname, as he himself has repeatedly posted it all over his websites and socials, and has posted screenshots on his website of his degrees which are under his deadname:
Van der Waard claims that he got the Van der Waard surname name from his Dutch grandfather:
Here he refers to himself as "a Dutch [troon] from Michigan", despite the fact that he's never been to the Netherlands, doesn't know Dutch, etc. He gets to claim Dutchness just because he's a white American:
Persephone has been queer all her life. Her academic journey started when she was 27, in 2014 when she was still in the closet. Since then, she came out as trans in 2022 and hasn't looked back!
Born Dutch, pale and male, Persephone—in her heart-of-hearts—is a thicc redheaded French girl with lots of curves, curly hair and freckles:
About the Author - van der Waard Art.com
Persephone van der Waard is the author of Sex Positivity (2023)—an an-Com sex worker and activist fighting for sex worker rights. This is her condensed portfolio involved with that project and her academic pursuits.
Van der Waard is literally from the same country as this music video, so he's only expressing his Dutch norms and values through his work:
According to Nick, his childhood was a mess of sibling rivalry, divorce, a cheating father, a Russian mother, a failed business, and constant bullying. Van der Waard claims that his biological dad was a womanizer and that his stepfather, uncle and brothers all abused him, while being bullied at school for being a geek:
All the same, this particular coping mechanism stemmed from an abusive past before Jadis entered the picture. I had survived a great number of difficult experiences besides my stepfather (who admittedly was the worst of the bunch): the abuses of a second uncle (more on him in a moment), grad school, Zeuhl leaving me for their future husband, and my brothers (who once duct-taped me to a flagpole during a thunderstorm, stuffed a sock in my mouth, and left me there for my mother to come and rescue). I was also bullied by other children, primarily neighborhood boys who quickly recognized my being different from them: femme, highly imaginative, prone to writing and keen to avoid violence if I could help it (though I did get into fights in the seventh grade; i.e., acting out while my stepfather was abusing me).
...
Although I was a sexually precocious child, my art hasn't always been sexual or monstrous. Rather, it was a place for me to go when things got bad, but even this was inconsistent. Despite being abusive, for example, Dad was never really around when I was small; it was his family who abused me the most. Not only did they gaslight me and neglect my version of things; they blamed my mother for seeking divorce, calling her a "homewrecker" despite her refusal to cheat on a notoriously unfaithful husband (who slept with just about wife in town). Equally traumatic, the judge of the custody battle had mandated supervised visitations with my father that I thoroughly detested. They only made me a captive audience to my father's side, who tried incessantly to convince me that Dad "was still my father" despite omitting his abuse of me during these talks.
...
Mom was the eldest of three siblings, Dave being the youngest and the middle child—Mom's other brother (who I'll call Iago)—being the source of a great deal of trauma after I was an adult. In the 2010s, Iago bankrupted the family business and blamed it entirely on all of us. I didn't know it at the time, but Iago's abuse had slowly turned me Communist (a process that materialized through my second bid at university and my graduate/postgraduate work). Though I am always painfully honest with new partners, I didn't mention Iago's abuse to Jadis when we met. Partly I was still figuring it out; frankly I also thought worker rights were a universal concern and Jadis would simply "get it," should the conversation ever come up. Alas, they did not share my sympathies (though the extent to which they and I disagreed only became clear after I was living in Florida for many months).
...
At first, it melted into a sweet puddle, then an illusion that kept me trapped, but the feelings of genuine harmful imprisonment (and complaints) came later. Not only did I desperately want adventure by going to Florida as my mother once did; my grandparents gave me away to Jadis trusting Jadis to care for their grandchild as one would a bride. I had gotten my wish and was off see to a new world! Alas, once I was living under Jadis' roof, things quickly changed. My imaginative responses—so useful to interpreting my own trauma—only blushed at Jadis' numerous threats, making me an easy target for lengthier unironic tortures.
Book Sample: Meeting Jadis, opening and part one - van der Waard Art.com
A blog post from "Searching for Secrets" (2024), the promotion for the Undead Module of my Sex Positivity book series.
Van der Waard's "independent PhD": "I'm not technically a doctor", subjecting readers to non-consensual porn is meant to be "educational", using nudity as a "weapon"
Van der Waard really wants people to know he's educated:
So dedicated was Van der Waard to learning, he as a trans person even spent a whole year living in TERFlandia just for the sake of his studies.
According to this Quora post (as "Nicholas Jay van der Waard"), he graduated from Manchester Metro Uni in 2018:
In this other Quora post, he claims that he lived in Manchester for only one year, and refers to Michigan as "my home state".
But, much to his chagrin for sure, he admits he's, quote, "not a real doctor" while posting a picture of his bullshit Master of Arts degree in English studies:
By comparison, I'm not technically a doctor because I don't have my PhD from a real university. Instead, I got my master's in Gothic Studies from MMU and built on it independently through my non-profit book series. To it, the work I've done is extensive, holistic and iconoclastic enough that I readily accepted being independent, early on—meaning by 2021, after COVID dashed my plans for PhD candidacy. I certainly applied for candidacy, and also wrote submissions for journals and attended conferences. But in the end, all of that seemed less important than the work itself, so that is what I chose to focus on; I didn't want to compromise said work by devoting myself to the bloodsport that is academic life.
The reality is, I am educated, but also being accused of rape by Bad Empanada—a dishonest and cowardly rape apologist/anti-intellectual nerd, and someone far less educated (and sexually active) than I am (and if he says otherwise, I'll respond, "Prove it, nerd!" but also "Sex work is work, you incel!").
Raising Awareness: Regarding Bad Empanada and His Fascist Behaviors (and Marxist-Leninism versus anarcho-Communism) - Persephone's (Gothic) Insights
This post appeals to any who wish to help raise awareness about Bad Empanada and his abusive (fascist) behaviors, online.nicksmovieinsights.com
Van der Waard (in his video about contacting Heptatitis C): "I want to be a professor at a University", and Hitler wanted to be a painter, it's practically same thing (more on Hitler later!):
Van der Waard tries to gaslight, claiming that peppering corn throughout his essays on what he falsely claims is his "SFW website" is meant to be "educational", claiming that it doesn't constitute pornography because the partially covered up the pictures - that were originally not covered up at all, as BadEmpanada made clear in his video. BadEmpanada shot his video before the pictures were retroactively covered up in a lame attempt at deflecting from the sexual harassment. You see, this lunatic has given himself a fake PhD, so everything he does, even being a sex pest, is supposedly "educational". He's flashing at you because he's trying to "educate" you about how queer people just can't keep their pants up and should be allowed to subject unwilling non-consenting others to their agoraphilia. Furthermore, Van der Waard's SFW website is not SFW, it's filled with corn and spice just like his other website where he goon-dumped all the photoseries that he convinced desperate sex workers on Bsky to shoot for him for $40.
Van der Waard claims that he is using sex and nudity "as weapon", admitting his subjecting BadEmpanada to non-consensual porn is meant to be a form of sexual harassment:
IS A PICTURE OF A WOMAN PULLING HER FETISH PANTS DOWN "REVENGE PORNOGRAPHY"? VAN DER WAARD GASLIGHTING PEOPLE ABOUT HIS DOXXING OF HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND "JADIS"
Van der Waard vehemently denies being a revenge pornographer, but the few people who have closely examined his website (before I got around to doing so) had determined on their own that Van der Waard has posted what amounts to prima facie revenge porn of his ex-girlfriend "Jadis" pulling her fetish pants down, a woman he has also doxxed by her IRL name on the same website.
Van der Waard admits that the following screenshots of his ex Jadis were excerpted from longer private home videos that were never meant to be public. This makes these screenshots effectively revenge porn:
Van der Waard has also posted screenshots from private "sexting" sessions between him and Jadis that were never meant to be made public. In the following screenshot Jadis is visibly wearing fetish wear (a collar and a see-through shirt).
In case Van der Waard tries to gaslight again about the legal definition of revenge porn, here is how revenge porn is actually defined
The keywords here are "private" and "to cause distress", which makes the revenge porn aggravating. Van der Waard readily admits that these pictures were taken in the context of a private sexual relationship and were not meant to be shared with anyone else online. Second, Van der Waard himself explicitly stated, in the following paragraph of one of his essays about his relationship to Jadis, that the reason he doxxed his ex Jadis on his website was to cause her "anxiety", in other words aggravating distress:
Here Van der Waard admits again he doxxed his ex to cause her emotional distress: "Abusers either kill their victims (...) or use literal or figurative poison to kill any part of them that might speak out (...) I think Jadis was counting on the latter to silence me, so it's only fitting if my testimony makes them anxious once it comes out (...) A rapist, especially an impenitent one, should never know peace."
To conclude, by any applicable legal standard, Van der Waard has posted prima facie revenge porn of his ex on his website. The fact that her genitals aren't visible in these pictures doesn't matter, as he admits that these pictures of his ex, screenshot the moment she pulls her fetish BDSM pants off (as these are clearly not regular pants, they are fetish gear in the context of a private BDSM relationship), were originally screenshot from a longer pornographic home video they shot together. Therefore, these screenshots are private pictures of a sexual nature, whether actual genitals are visible or not.
If you're Jadis or any woman that needs to report Van der Waard for posting revenge porn, please use the following resources:
Revenge Porn Helpline
0845 6000 459
www.revengepornhelpline.org.uk
You can email us at help@revengepornhelpline.org.uk
Van der Waard has also posted screenshots from private "sexting" sessions between him and Jadis that were never meant to be made public. In the following screenshot Jadis is visibly wearing fetish wear (a collar and a see-through shirt).
In case Van der Waard tries to gaslight again about the legal definition of revenge porn, here is how revenge porn is actually defined
The keywords here are "private" and "to cause distress", which makes the revenge porn aggravating. Van der Waard readily admits that these pictures were taken in the context of a private sexual relationship and were not meant to be shared with anyone else online. Second, Van der Waard himself explicitly stated, in the following paragraph of one of his essays about his relationship to Jadis, that the reason he doxxed his ex Jadis on his website was to cause her "anxiety", in other words aggravating distress:
To heal from Jadis, I shall now make them into something that I can control—not to bend the truth, but to tell my side of things as completely as I can, and per the medieval-adjacent ideas like ludo-Gothic BDSM that I've developed in light of what my abuser did to me. They raped me and let me go, insisting they were good and I was not. Abusers either kill their victims (usually the male approach), or use literal or figurative poison to kill any part of them that might speak out (the proverbial "woman's weapon"). I think Jadis was counting on the latter to silence me, so it's only fitting if my testimony makes them anxious once it comes out! While something of an attempt to forgive them (though more of an attempt to take their power over me and weaponize it against the state by transforming my zombie state into something instruction for others to learn from), I won't lose sleep if my ghastly accounts haunt them; a rapist, but especially an impenitent one (remorse was never your strong suit. Jadis), should never know peace. So reap the whirlwind, honey!
Book Sample: Transforming Our Zombie Selves (opening and part zero) - van der Waard Art.com
A blog post from "Searching for Secrets" (2024), the promotion for the Undead Module of my Sex Positivity book series.
Here Van der Waard admits again he doxxed his ex to cause her emotional distress: "Abusers either kill their victims (...) or use literal or figurative poison to kill any part of them that might speak out (...) I think Jadis was counting on the latter to silence me, so it's only fitting if my testimony makes them anxious once it comes out (...) A rapist, especially an impenitent one, should never know peace."
To conclude, by any applicable legal standard, Van der Waard has posted prima facie revenge porn of his ex on his website. The fact that her genitals aren't visible in these pictures doesn't matter, as he admits that these pictures of his ex, screenshot the moment she pulls her fetish BDSM pants off (as these are clearly not regular pants, they are fetish gear in the context of a private BDSM relationship), were originally screenshot from a longer pornographic home video they shot together. Therefore, these screenshots are private pictures of a sexual nature, whether actual genitals are visible or not.
If you're Jadis or any woman that needs to report Van der Waard for posting revenge porn, please use the following resources:
Revenge Porn Helpline
0845 6000 459
Revenge Porn Helpline - 0345 6000 459 | Revenge Porn Helpline
The Revenge Porn Helpline supports all adult victims of intimate image abuse living in the UK. You can get in touch for free, confidential help and support.
Support outside of the UK
The Revenge Porn Helpline is only funded to support adults affected by intimate image abuse in the UK. If you are not from the UK but require support for this abuse, we would recommend that you make a report to the police. You can also find a list of organisations that may be able to support you below.
Help for victims outside the UK | Revenge Porn Helpline
Advice for victims who are not from the UK but require support for intimate image abuse.revengepornhelpline.org.uk
People online have asked Van der Waard repeatedly for hard evidence that his ex Jadis, as well as other women/previous sex partners whose intimate pictures he has posted all over his website, is OK with him posting their private pictures on his website, but Van der Waard has provided none. His answers to these requests for evidence of explicit consent are just "trust me bro". Van der Waard claims that Jadis ignoring him - ie, her not having taken steps to have his website taken down legally - is somehow evidence that she consents to her pictures being up.
In the text that accompanies these pictures, Van der Waard repeatedly and ceaselessly accuses Jadis of supposedly having "raped" him.
For example, Jadis knew the rules of pussy exchange as a matter of theatre ("Come play with this pussy!" they'd beckon when flashing me, but also explaining the effect as a means of play between them and their BDSM buddies, but also people at large they could fuck with if they chose to). Even so, they decided to weaponize said exchanges for the state by telling me how to play in ways that benefitted them as an extension of the state they served by raping me; i.e., in a way that moved power towards the state (on an individual level, between them and their partners: telling me how to play with such things, thus think about the world and my place in it as an undead person).
Book Sample: Meeting Jadis, part two - van der Waard Art.com
A blog post from "Searching for Secrets" (2024), the promotion for the Undead Module of my Sex Positivity book series.
I have screenshots and screenshots from Van der Waard's posts on his website where he accuses Jadis of raping him:
I think one can only conclude from the above that Van der Waard is most likely running a deliberate public smear campaign against his ex.
Suffice to say, Jadis haunts seemingly every single thing Van der Waard has ever posted on his blog. He'll post an essay where he's ranting about some other topic or person, like his latest parasocial hate-watch on Youtube or whatever, and all of a sudden he will pivot to ranting about Jadis and how she traumatized him and megaraped him, always referring to this woman as an "ogre".
Frankly, the more I read his ramblings, the more ridiculous his accusations levelled against Jadis become. Here, he claims that Jadis was raping him... because she glared at him during a BDSM session:
"I am hypersexual", bro fr fr? So his girlfriend asks him to hate-fuck her after a fight to shake and make up, he does as requested... and still he's the one being "raped"... because he doesn't like her "glaring" at him during the hate-fuck. Unbelievable.
In yet another of a gazillion rants, Van der Waard refers to Jadis as "Jack" and claims she was emotionally abusive, which is totally the same thing as actual rape. Here he blames his ex for refusing to weed through his ramblings: "they criticized my academic expertise and research on neoliberalism and the Gothic, but refused to read my work". He insists their dispute was political, not because his ramblings are unreadable, nonsensical flight of ideas.
Of course he would eventually devolve to Godwin's Law and accuse his ex not only of being a rapist but of being Hitler:
Just like Vivian, who wrote fuck-off letters to Lola and Jane, Van der Waard too wrote a fuck-off letter to his ex Jadis, which this time I won't have to ask ChatGPT to generate, because Van der Waard made sure to include it:
That was quite impressive actually for a fuck off and die letter. I immediately wondered if Vivian's letter to Lola was this literary, LMAO. I will make sure to feed this letter into ChatGPT to teach it to generate better letters.
(...TBC)
