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KingCobraJFS / Joshua Fay Saunders - Delusional alcoholic, demonic wizard, amateur musician and professional wandmaker.

Clint's Burden

Registered
Editors Note:
As a consequence of the Kiwi Farms being down constantly now, I no longer see much of a future for this thread there. It may have a future, and I hope that future is prosperous, but my goal is as an archivist and historian for this particular cow. I have been for a while. As a consequence of that, I do not want this thread or the information presented here to be lost. We've recently lost both wikis dedicated to Josh and the subreddit related to this individual is likely to be scraped from the internet at some point due to harassment. Josh is a truly amazing and hilarious human being, I wish nothing but the best for him despite his constant insistence to drive his own life down in the gutter. I hope this thread can be used as an educational tool on who he is and how he operates. Thank you to everyone who contributed to the previous thread, in particular the OP who wrote it and the individual who re-wrote it, for which I have no names at the time. I will edit the OP when I have time and when it's deemed prudent.

Have fun, dood.

- Games




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KingCobraJFS (Powerword: Joshua Fay Saunders) is a delusional, alcoholic YouTuber who believes he's a powerful, demonic wizard. As a consequence of very strange behavior and eccentricities, he has carved a path of absolutely ridiculous content for the better part of a decade. Everything from being evicted due to fumigating the surrounding apartments to brutally destroying child sex dolls in shame.

Born on March 26, 1991 to Clint and Laura Saunders in Casper, Wyoming, Josh would have a difficult early life. Shortly after birth, Clint and Laura went through a rough divorce and a custody battle. Josh was born with respiratory distress syndrome (NRDS), underdeveloped lungs, and was place in an incubator. Clint always maintained that Laura was psychotic and abusive, with some trolls believing that she may have had a drug problem or drank liquor while Josh was still in the womb. In 1992/1993 Josh relocated to Miles City, Montana with his parents where both shared custody. Details of his life in Montana are murky and largely unknown, aside from Clint owning and running gymnastics clubs in both Miles City and Glendive, Montana. Among other places Josh lived were Valley City, North Dakota; and South Lake Tahoe, California. Clint remarried in 1996 and was awarded sole custody of Josh. Eventually Josh moved back to Casper, Wyoming and graduated from Natrona County High School.
Among his siblings are two sisters, who according to Clint are “straight ‘A’ students ”, members of honors societies, active in their communities in organizing volunteer work and raising awareness for the Humane Society, and according to Clint have no interest in tobacco, drugs, or alcohol. In spite of all this, Clint is still quite proud of Josh, but knew from the time Josh was born that there was something wrong with him. In a screencap from a post by @Buffalo Chicken Sandwich , Clint goes into detail about Josh’s mental state in his younger days:

“He was very different. By the time he was five we started taking him to counselors to try and get him the help he needed. From the age of 5-18 he saw counselors and was on medications and was able to function fairly well. When he was young I went back to college to study psychology in hopes to be able to help him more. I worked with kids in the metal health field for years to gain knowledge and skills to try and help him. I have quit good jobs in exchange for lesser paying jobs just so I could be home more to be there for him.”

Clint goes on to describe Josh as having been “tormented, teased, and harassed every second of every day of [Josh’s] life”. This is a stark contrast to Josh’s behavior in high school being described as creepy, and even admitting on stream on 3/7/2021 that he had sexually assaulted girls at school, and excusing it with, “they were totally into me”. (They were not.) He was on his school’s wrestling team long enough to receive a letterman jacket before declaring the sport was “gay”. After discovering the band Cradle of Filth he began to identify as a goth. The very day he turned 18, Josh took up smoking despite his NRDS, and at 21, Josh took up drinking. Both of these vices would become staples of his character for years to come. After high school Josh had a brief stint in the local Job Corps in early/mid 2012 before it ended with him being kicked out after being caught smoking pot. During this time he also met his now ex-girlfriend Stephanie.


Gothic King Cobra Documentary by Trappped

There’s debate as to when Josh entered the public eye of the internet. Though he had something of a following pre-2014 with drama involving Stephanie and other shenanigans, it wasn’t until the documentary Gothic King Cobra was uploaded to YouTube on 2/23/2014 that interest in Josh began to grow. The video documents a day in Josh’s life, and also some details of Josh’s past, such as his time on the wrestling team and also the fact he had a fat bush of pubes back in high school. He also reveals he “keeps his shit trimmed down there”. In the documentary we’re also introduced to a cavalcade of citizens in Casper, Wyoming as well who never really make an appearance in Josh’s life later but do seem to be acquainted with him. Of note is Jared Brown, a homeless former Marine who possibly ingrained within Cobra’s psyche the catchphrase, “That’s what’s up” and even doles out some pretty good advice to Cobra.


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"Nut up, or get fucked up. That's what's up today."

The documentary has become a harrowing window into Cobra’s past self, showcasing a young man who had dreams and aspirations, even if a little awkward. Now what remains is a broken man devoid of any ambition who seeks comfort in alcohol, tobacco, fast food, and marijuana. In fact, take just about any post breakup video and you will see a shocking contrast to Josh’s life then and now. See the "Videos" section below for the full documentary.

The Sagas

Like any lolcow, Josh has a multitude of past sagas, many of which can be found HERE or listed below for your convenience. The most recent and ongoing saga is the Eviction Saga, which started in 2014, but reached a head in 2020 when Josh was told he caused $6,000 worth of damage and caused the apartment above him to be un-rentable due to his constant indoor smoking and spray painting wands for his wand business. Him also inviting various bums and addicts to stay with him as well as getting SWATTED may have contributed to this as well. After being evicted Josh was able to move into a new apartment and so far hasn’t learned from his past mistakes if the appearance of his apartment is anything to go by. For more information on the eviction, view THIS VIDEO here.

This saga is currently ongoing, as Josh's life has taken a turn for the mundane. He no longer leaves the house very much, nor interacts with the internet in revealing or honest ways. There's nothing particularly exciting about his life at this point as a consequence and if there was, he wouldn't tell you. Josh is an old cow, albeit one that's operating on life support at this point in time. Considering his failing health, it's possible that statement may be literal.










Josh’s Health


Josh in 2013:
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Josh in 2022:
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Josh's mental decline is increasingly apparent throughout his catalogue of videos and history. As a young man, Josh was medicated for his Aspergers and his rage issues, performing somewhat sub-par in the schooling system but generally passing by. Because of his lack of understanding with social cues, Josh would often stalk young women he was enamored with, eventually admitting that he knew it was wrong and creepy.

Things would escalate, as they often do, when Josh stopped taking his medication. Stating "I didn't like the way it made me feel so I stopped taking it", soon after he would start to develop delusions about being a powerful, demon wizard who controlled lightning. He would hear voices and attribute it to his neighbors "having sex and mocking me for being single," or attribute it to hearing ghosts in his apartment that "want to have sex with me."

As Josh would eventually stop working and slowly stop leaving his house so much, ceasing to interact with people on a regular basis, Josh would replace that with the internet and the variety of trolls who interact with him. This would mark a serious decline in his overall health. Josh would gradually come to believe the delusion that he's a worldwide leader of a religious cult that follows his every word and does his bidding. Due to this isolation, his alcoholism would become rampantly worse and wouldn't help his mental deterioration much. Josh can now no longer wake up without having alcohol and constantly begs/schemes money to pay for his growing need to subsist off it. His physical appearance and change is pretty startling, he has been gradually losing hair due to his poor apetite of constant fast food and booze, whilst getting more and more fat in the process.

Though he hasn’t officially been diagnosed with the following disorders, many trolls and observers of the Cobraverse have theorized that Josh exhibits symptoms of disorders such as severely stunted emotional and social development (Attributed to his Aspergers, but even then seems to be FAR worse than the average aspie), addictive personality disorder, poor impulse control, low IQ, and oppositional defiant disorder.
Kiwi Farms user @Lesbian Sleepover provided a very interesting step by step on the way Josh handles danger and conflict in his life, as shown below.

What @SnusBurns said and the fact that now he's (M'Lord) ON the radar of the complex/neighbors.
There's way more attention on his "CobraZone™" and he doesn't like that.
Josh is VERY unaware of his immediate surroundings due to his disabilities. Theory of mind, volume, vision, all affected by genetics and further reduced via habits (spice, root beer floats and poots)

Josh thinks about the danger for a moment then moves on. There are 5 stages to this:

Stage 1. The Confrontation. This is where Josh has been given the what-for by a reasonable competent adult/authority figure. Example: Term'd Lease, Dad Debit Card, Cranky Neighbors
Stage 2. The Clarity. This is where Josh explains how he understands why what he did was not necessarily wrong but how it may be perceived as such. Example: painting wands, overdrafts
Stage 3. The Justification. This is a [typically drunk] rant on how he's just doing HIM, doing his BEST and if THAT's SO WRONG [You]|[Face]|[Stream]-toobz, then he doesn't wanna be right
Stage 4. The What-If. This is not always present in the cycle, but it's typical where he exaggerates what happened during Stage 1 and how he very toughly/bad-assly would have handled it
Stage 5. The Blow-Off. This comes in a couple forms, typically either him the next day mentioning/repeating shut due to autism and being nonchalant about it, almost dismissive and/or someone in a comment/text/live-chat brings back up what should be a fresh/important subject on a typical person' s mind and he kind of shrugs it off, calmly repeating some talking points from Stage 3.

Throughout all of this, Josh at no point accepts blame for his actions. Not once has he admitted to being fully in the wrong. It has always been that he was only partly wrong, and when he does accept blame he only gives an insincere apology and moves on to the next thing.

Josh on Women and Sex

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Josh and Stephanie in happier times.

Surprisingly, Josh has gotten laid in the past and has had at least two relationships in his life, though one only lasted roughly a day. But in recent days he has started to flip flop on women, walking a fine line between Incel to “nice guy”, though he seems to tend more toward nice guy tendencies. Josh, believing he’s the sexy goth bad boy he claims to be, thinks women are waiting to crawl all over him and gouge out the eyes of every other hussy bitch that tries to lay their hands upon his mighty mega meat cock before they can. But since he never seems to leave the CobraZone and venture out into the streets of Casper, we won’t know the extent of his romantic escapades, with most information coming directly from Josh himself or trolls close to him.

In the past Josh was in a relationship with a woman named Stephanie whom he met at Job Corps. For a time, things were good. Stephanie was close to moving into Josh’s apartment, until Josh and an his friend Chris got drunk at a gas station and somehow ended up tag-teaming a pregnant woman at the woman’s suggestion. Stephanie then cheated on Josh through the act of anal sex with a mutual friend (I’m looking at you, Homeboy Scotty). Josh’s response?

He makes a half-joke threat to rape Stephanie. Stephanie then moved her shit out of the apartment while Josh was at work. On the 4th of July, they break up.

In 2015 Josh got a new girlfriend named Ami, and after only one day, they broke up. A short time later Ami wound up in jail and Josh expressed great pleasure at this revelation. Eventually Josh began to grow frustrated at his inability to find a woman, until the day came when a fan sent him a $1000 sex doll.

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Josh, "Fun-sized Felicia", and Shon

According to Josh, it’s not the exactly sex doll he wanted, but took it all in stride. Hey, a pussy is a pussy, am I right? Not even 24 hours later, Josh posted on Facebook that a thief broke into his apartment and stole his sex doll. And only his sex doll. Not his guitar, what little valuables he has, or even his TV. But...just his sex doll.
Josh later claimed that Casper police found his sex doll in the back of a meth monkey’s car who was allegedly trying to get scrap metal out of it, thus destroying it in the process. Josh admitted later that he destroyed the sex doll because he got angry after ripping its pussy during a ferocious fuck session. He blamed the doll’s poor quality and poor shipping.
Josh has since been unsuccessful with women, often wanting that black haired tatted up big tittied goth girl with green eyes that so many lust after. Rather than improving himself or settling for less attractive women, even just to get some experience talking to girls, Josh goes for women completely out of his league and wonder why they won't go out with him.

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The kind of woman Josh wants but cannot and will not ever have.


Josh and Music
Josh has boasted about being a sick guitarist and even published some of his own music, however most of the albums were taken down due to copyright because Josh cannot help but put copyrighted material in his works. Rather than believing his potential is just untapped, Josh is seemingly self taught and believes he does not need improvement. According to reality, however…


Oh yes, that's right. He releases his own albums. He has like 10 of them and they're all just a hilarious, garbled mess of distortion, screaming, stolen shit, drum beats from Garage Band and poorly recorded guitar from his iMac.

Josh and Religion
What’s an edgy goth bad boy without a hatred of religion? Josh has declared his hatred of organized religion time and time again, even though he approves of the Church of Satan (An organized religion), created his own organized religious structure called Cobratin, openly admitted to and enjoyed the idea of being a cult leader, and advocated for the innocence of Charles Manson, a cult leader. However, Josh does believe in the idea of magic, believing he can control the weather and manipulate traffic lights.


Josh would go so far as to create a symbol for his religion and actually get it tattoo'd on his arm. For some reason, it's a combination of a Stuzzy S and those metal bracelets that "heal your soul" or some shit.
Unknown to Josh, it inadvertently and unintentionally looks like a penis.

PenisTattoo.png



Josh and Employment


Josh has had a rather spotty job record. His first job was at a local Wendy’s where he had was a rather lackluster employee, where his antics include unclogging a toilet with nothing but a cup and his bare hands, and mixing up the sweet and unsweet teas multiple times. Josh was cut down to a single 2-4 hour shift a week. His employment lasted from Fall of 2012 to August 25th, 2016 when a troll named “Castellus Zemi” also known as “The Fat Fuck from Kentucky” by the Cobra community, called Wendy’s corporate office and filed complaints about Josh’s videos. During his hiatus between jobs he started doing odd jobs around down at the discretion of his “friend” Scrapper Steve. Given Steve’s appearance, one can only shudder at the thought of what these odd jobs entailed.

Scrapper Steve.jpg


"Buffalo Bill" Scrapper Steve

Finally on May 7th, 2017, a whole ass 8 months from being fired from Wendy’s, Josh FINALLY found a job as a humble dishwasher at The Office Bar and Grill. But in September 2018, Josh put in his 2-week notice, citing the lack of hours and that he felt he was making more money from his wand business and doing a lot better. Of course, fans and trolls speculate that one of the reasons Josh quit was due to his disputes with the head chef. Josh didn’t tell his father that he had quit his job, and only found out MONTHS later when he stopped by to visit Josh.

Now, Josh is seemingly unemployed with his only source of income being social security allowance and his wand business, which he crafts homemade magic wands to sell on Etsy. However, his Etsy account was taken down in September 2021 after a dispute with a customer, in which Josh was unable to provide a refund of $270. Without Etsy, the boglim grifter is without a stable source of income as of this writing.

Josh currently makes all of his money through PayPal, CashApp and Patreon donations.



Josh and Finances
As evidenced by being unable to provide the $270 Etsy refund mentioned above, Josh is absolutely terrible when it comes to finances. Every time he comes into the possession of Clintbux from dad or donations from fans, it doesn’t last long, with almost all of it literally going down the shitter since he spends it on fast food. Back when he was with Stephanie he would spend his $400 Wendy’s paychecks on Golden Corral. Now he spends what little money his has on booze, tobacco, weed (Possibly spice as well), and fast food for his infamous food reviews and mashups. How bad exactly is Josh with money? He spent $1,000 in 5 days. And no, it wasn’t on anything meaningful.


How Josh spends so much money on fast food can be chalked up to the ridiculous orders he makes. Little Caesar’s is a relatively cheap pizza joint with offers like $10 for a large pizza with three toppings or $5 for a simply pepperoni pizza. But Josh somehow manages to spend $70 on a custom made pizza. It remains a mystery how he’s able to pull this off, but it can be inferred that he A) Orders multiple items alongside his custom made monstrosity that’s already putting pressure on kitchen staff. B) Uses some kind of app like DoorDash to have it delivered, which is known for having ridiculous delivery fees. And C) Doesn’t realize how the coupons work.
With the wand business being placed on hold, Josh will need to rely on more ebegging and Clintbux if he is to survive the winter. He could also just buy groceries and cook for himself, but…


Josh and Cooking:

Josh has cooked for himself in the past and posted videos of the process, but seems to have relied more on fast food reviews for his sustenance as of late. Most of his meals don’t look very presentable and are often either burnt or of questionable edibility. Below are some of his (in)famous cooking videos, including one where he starts a fucking grease fire:


WARNING!!! DO NOT FUCKING EAT ANYTHING WHILE WATCHING THESE.



Persons of Note
Below are some persons of note in the Cobraverse, but not all of them. This list will be updated over time when possible for new additions and updates.

(Shoutout to @Games for providing me with this information)



The father of Josh (and somebody so embarrassing and cringeworthy he deserves his own thread just by merit of shit he regularly says and does) Clint was born September 15th, 1969 in Casper, Wyoming to his parents Al and Sandi. He went to Natrona County High, the same alma matar as Josh, and graduated in 1987. He was always fond of personal fitness and was even on the wrestling team, much like how Josh was. Unlike Clint however, Josh was never too interested in physical fitness.

Clint got with Josh’s birth mother some time after that and had him in 1990. They were together for a while but things didn’t work out, so he moved around and eventually left to live in Minnesota around 1995. He went to school at Moorehead, where he met Tanis, Josh’s current stepmother. He received a Bachelor of Science in Graphic Communications. After that, the details are hazy. They moved around to California and South Lake Tahoe while Josh was growing up, more notably North Dakota. Josh went to high school there for three years. Clint went to the Academy of Art University in San Francisco around 2011, where he earned a Master of Fine Arts in Photography. Eventually they moved back to Caper. He currently owns his own photography business and he has also been an assistant professor/head of the photography department at Dakota College.

Clint is also Josh’s first and foremost lifeline when shit goes sideways, but at the same time also has to deal with Josh’s bullshit such as when Josh was being evicted from his previous residence in 2020. Clint has also been the subject of speculation for the prophesized “Clintervention”, where he steps up to yank his son from the clutches of addiction. The truth is, there have been multiple Clinterventions where Clint intervened, slapped some duct tape on the situation, and then called it a day. From the way it seems, Clint has been doomed by the gods to deal with his son’s bull shit and serve as the favored servant of the dark lord Cobra.

Homeboy Scotty.jpg

Josh’s best friend (Meth abuser) and closest homeboy. Josh and Scotty met sometime in the 2010s and from that day remained friends. Many fans and trolls believe Scotty is an absolute mooch and bum that uses Josh for weed, cigarettes, and money in some more nefarious accusations. Scotty has two children with his ex-girlfriend Tina, but in 2018 she ran off and developed at drug habit leaving Scotty and her mother Angelina with shared custody of the kids. As of late, Scotty has been relatively unseen in the Cobraverse, with a lot of rumors suggesting that he had a stint in prison. However, a post in the KingCobraJFS subreddit stated that this may be due to Scotty’s drug habits and Josh not wanting to keep Scotty around in case of another Swatting. Another post suggested that Scotty doesn’t like Warlord, and Warlord may be inclined to call out Scotty on his bullshit when it happens again.

Warlord.jpg

Grade A Edgelord, (Also meth user) and another one of Josh’s close homeboys. Warlord was arrested multiple times, such as an arrest in May 2018 where he was arrested for domestic battery possibly involved his then-pregnant wife. Much like Scotty, Warlord is a mooch, a liar, and often pretty spergy. Being obsessed with the tabletop game Warhammer 40k and it’s DEEP LORE, Warlord models his life philosophy from quotes spoked by the Space Wolves and Grey Knights chapters of the Space Marines. Warlord was the one who got Josh the job as a dishwasher at The Office Bar and Grill, and also often tries to impart sage wisdom to Josh with his stolen and bastardized quotes, but to no avail. Also of note is the fact that Warlord has exchanged naked pics of himself to men who talk with him on Facebook, though most of these men are trolls.

Warlord has had two spouses in the past, both of which he is no longer with. He has three (Possibly four) children from these relationships. Warlord has always wanted children, though mostly because he wanted to have his own Space Marines chapter, basically. He likely finds comfort in the idea of having a large familial structure. Sadly, this would not happen as his marriages didn’t last long. But at least he got a few kids out of it. After his most recent wife Valorie confessed to him in August 2018 that she cheated on him with another man and got an STD, Warlord broke down and allegedly got admitted to a mental hospital.

Favorite phrases

The following are words and phrases that Josh has become very fond of saying in his videos, the most famous ones being "That's what's up" and "That's most definitely what's up".

  • What's good, youtube
  • Well anyways, youtube, this is KingCobraJFS with another video, I'll catch you cool cobras (later/on the flipside).
  • Trust and believe
  • I guaran-fucking-tee you
  • My trusty [random object]
  • That's what's up
  • That's most definitely what's up
  • Thing of it is, youtube
  • Yeah buddy
  • "Scuse me" (after sneezing, coughing or deliberately farting and belching)
  • My asperger's is talking shit again (after passing gas)
  • You have no idea / You don't even know
  • It is what it is
  • Here's the thing, slick
  • No skin off my shoes
  • Fuck your sky god
  • Ooo-wee

Links and Misc. Shit:

KingCobraJFS subreddit
Facebook
YouTube Channel
Cobrapedia: http://thecobrapedia.miraheze.org/wiki/Main_Page Both wikis are defunct, deleted or outright banned.
Bitesize Cobra Vids (Archive channel, part highlights channel)
Lenin Lime (Archival channel)
Boglim Chronicles (Clip channel)
KingCobraJFS: Now It's A Party! (The second documentary)
Gothic King Cobra Documentary by Trappped (The first documentary)
Local news article on Josh getting SWATTED
Dying his hair (Classic video)
Dying his hair again and looking like the Geico Caveman (Classic video)
 

【VOID】

Retired Staff
As a consequence of the Kiwi Farms being down constantly now, I no longer see much of a future for this thread there. It may have a future, and I hope that future is prosperous, but my goal is as an archivist and historian for this particular cow.
Thanks for choosing onion farms as your spot to drop your OP on this guy. I remember stumbling across his stuff before I found the KF thread a while ago, loved digging into his lore. Looking forward to many updates as you make them.
 

Some Random Sperg

Baby Onion
I've tried to get into KingCobraJFS, but I honestly don't find him very interesting. I've gravitated more towards Cyraxx as my main lolcow over JFS as I simply find the former to be more amusing. I do like the video of JFS getting glitterbombed, though.
 
I'm watching a documentary about him as we speak. I find this stuff fascinating. I imagine most people would sit there and mock this guy. But it takes a certain kind of inner sadness to be so depressed all you do is drink which honestly I understand because I have had family members who went through that. I hope he finds some inner peace some day and I'm not about to make fun of him for any mistakes or being a lolcows or not.
 

RahCoon

Registered
Just to add to this, he recently acquired a pet bearded dragon. Unfortunate for the little guy but on the plus side I'm sure we will soon see him making a lizard wand very soon considering he has 0 ability to care for himself much less an animal.
 
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